Addy G

For My Cousins

2012-02-17T08:15:00.000-08:00

My cousin and her husband recently lost their little boy, Drake. He was born with cardiomyopathy (a heart condition) and died a few days later. He was a fighter. The doctors didn't expect him survive through her pregnancy. He just kept holding on, and I was beginning to think that he was really going to make it. My cousin and her husband handled everything with so much strength, an inspiration to all of us. This is a little something I wrote for them.

Drake

Born to a mother and father whose love sustained him
Beyond all expectations,
Drake had a valiant spirit
Determined to have its small piece of this life

Before going on
Into the arms of the Lord,
To be cherished there
In his home in heaven,

Cherished by grandparents,
Great-grandparents, all those
Who have gone
On before him.

These great souls
Who see their children’s generations,
Who are angels
Watching over them,

Now have Drake in their midst,
So small, with the sweetest face,
So dearly loved,
So painfully missed,

Yet given over to God
By his parents with unshaken faith,
Showing their beautiful,
Gracious strength,

Supported by God,
By family,
By friends,
By generations of love,

And by Drake’s love
Radiating to them from heaven,
Giving them a tie
To eternity

Season's Greetings

2011-12-19T13:35:00.000-08:00

It’s going to be a quiet Christmas for me this year. I will go to church and then to Barry and Melody’s for dinner. Actually, I might go to church with them before dinner. That might be nice. The Utah siblings always get together on Christmas Eve. It carries on one of the best things from Christmases when we were kids.

Christmas Eve was a big deal. We had a traditional dinner of spare ribs and potatoes with some vegetables mixed in, and mom always made lutefisk for dad. I think that Dad grew up with Christmas Eve spare ribs, and that’s why we had them. If you’ve never had lutefisk on your dinner plate, then count yourself lucky. It’s pretty vile. I don’t know why the Norwegians would sully Christmas with such a horrible food, but then again winter is very cold in Norway and dark for 20 of the 24 hours in a day, and that does something to the psyche. Lutefisk is cod or any other whitefish, dried and salted and mixed with lye. Its name literally means "lye fish." Don’t ask me, I don’t get it either, but dad loves the stuff. He pours melted butter on that jelly looking glob and eat it up. I can still see the butter on his chin.

After dinner we opened presents from our grandparents, aunts and uncles. Oh the joy of a child ripping into boxes that she’s sat by the tree and stared at, held and shaken, hoped to “accidently” rip the corner of paper off of just to get a peak, and driven her mother crazy to open just one a day early. Finally, FINALLY it was time to open presents, sheer exhilaration. I loved Christmas Eve almost more than Christmas day then, so it’s very nice that Aaron, Barry, Marla and I and their families still get together to celebrate.

I feel very content this year. It’s nice to feel the Christmas spirit again. I don’t know why I’m so much happier than I’ve been during Christmases past. I’m still single, still no children, still working retail (oh the horror), but nothing about that seems so bad this time. In fact, it isn’t bad at all. Maybe I’m maturing. Whatever it is, I’m happy with what I have and not so worried about the rest, and that’s a wonderful gift.
Have a very happy holiday season!

You are loved.

A Gift Idea

2011-12-06T10:54:00.000-08:00

This year I bought an advent calendar from Jacquie Lawson, a website with e-cards and other fun, gifty things. I absolutely love it! I've sent a few off as gifts to friends hoping that they have as much fun as I've had. Here's the link http://www.jacquielawson.com/advent/london?source=jl510. They calendars are beautiful, inexpensive, and easy to send off. If you're like me, you'll get two for yourself so that you can have one on every computer.

Let's Review

2011-12-05T09:46:00.001-08:00

I have not been on here for awhile. And since none of you have anything better to do than sit and wait for a post from me, I’m sure this has been a difficult few weeks. I am sorry. Here’s a recap.

Thanksgiving was perfect. Mom and Dad were in town; girls were home from school; we ate and played games and enjoyed general merriment. Any day that ends with cheese ball has to be counted a good.

William and Jonah slept at my house that night because Marla had to work early in the morning. Any day that starts with William’s sweet face nose-to-nose with mine as he climbs into my bed has to be counted as good.

Jonah’s birthday is tomorrow. Remember the gift-giving episode of last year? Well, his excitement/fixation/mania/panic started even earlier this year. So we struck a deal – I would give him his gift from me if he’d lay off the constant talk about nothing else, and keep his mother from losing her mind. He agreed, and got his Lego Star Wars kit. I don’t know that he has behaved perfectly since, but Marla said the pressure on her has come down, with a few outbursts here and there. Of course, no nine-year old (ten tomorrow!) boy can go without some slips.

Speaking of slips, I have done pretty well without the Diet Coke. The first couple of weeks were great, but on Thanksgiving Day I sank like a drunken pirate with his rum. I had planned to have a soda on the holiday. I think that “a soda” turned into a 2 liter bottle of soda – I can’t be sure. It’s all very vague.

Back on track and Coke-free now, though, and feeling pretty good.

And now it’s Christmas time. Barry, Melody, Savannah and I went to the First Presidency’s Christmas Devotional last night. It was wonderful, as always. Melissa and I bought a Christmas tree on Saturday, and have done other decorating to make the apartment festive and cozy. I’ve got cards to send, and am mostly done with shopping. The bookstore is getting busy, but manageable. I’m determined not to let anything that happens in the retail world make me grumpy this year. Christmas is too beautiful.

What a Bad Idea

2011-11-10T15:17:00.000-08:00

I want a Diet Coke so bad. Whose dumb, *&#@, &&$%#%$%#%*&#@#& idea was this?

In other news, my boxed set, Harry Potter: The Complete Collection Years 1-7 shipped today, so that's something to look forward to. If only I could enjoy a Diet Coke while watching it..... (sniff)...... Honestly! Who did this?!

The End of the World as I Know It

2011-11-07T14:41:00.000-08:00

I’ve come to a decision that has me a bit shaken. It will change life as I know it. I’m going to lay off the Diet Coke for a while. I know! I can hear the sharp intake of breathe, your cry of shock, and you haven’t even read this yet.

Diet Coke is an enormous part of who I am, of my being, my essence. It’s been my constant friend for more than 20 years. After years and years of denial, I’ve finally come to realize that this is a toxic relationship, addictive, and is doing me more harm than good. I was telling Marla this just this morning, and suggested that she should be my sponsor during addiction recovery, the person I call when I’m about to break, and she said that she’ll do this with me – no Diet Coke (or sodas) until the end of the year.

I feel pretty good about this decision, but I realize that after 20 years on the bottle, I don’t know who I am without it. What kind of Angie will I be after the caffeine, aspartame, caramel color, phosphoric acid and potassium benzoate are gone? I’m thinking that for the first few days I’ll have a screaming headache and be madder ‘n hell. Maybe I should go into hiding somewhere during detox for everyone’s benefit? But then, after that, who knows? I might not even remember you people. Heck, you might not be real. It could be that I have spent the last decades in a NutraSweet induced psychosis and completely delusional. You are all in my head, imaginary friends, just like in that movie “A Beautiful Mind”.

I hope Marla’s real. She has to be my sponsor. But, I think she must be because I do have memories of her, and some pictures, from back before Diet Coke came along. We’re okay there.

So, I guess this could be goodbye to the Angie you’ve known so long. If the lack of caffeine doesn’t put me permanently to sleep, then I’ll update the blog, and if you really do exist, please give me a sign. Thanks.

Today It's Still Fall

2011-11-04T12:39:00.000-07:00

A Poem, by me

It’s November now, but the trees are holding
On to their yellows, oranges and reds,

The rushing wind whips the leaves that have fallen up off
The ground into whirlwinds around me.

The wind is bringing in the first snow of the new winter.
This warm air is a warning that it’s all about to change,

But not quite yet.
Today I walked through the park with the whirlwinds following me,

And looked up through the bright yellow leaves
Into a brilliant blue sky.

The sunlight came in streams through the branches,
And my heart went soft, peaceful, at rest.

Soon the leaves and trees, the grass and flowers will
All be at rest for the winter,

But not quite yet.
Today it’s still fall, beautiful, delicious, glorious fall.

Halloween was Garbage

2011-11-02T09:44:00.000-07:00

William has an obsession with garbage trucks, trucks of all kinds, really, but garbage trucks especially. Some time ago we went for a walk around the neighborhood on garbage collecting day, and he stood and stared at the trucks lifting the cans and dumping them. Then he started moving his own arm like the claw, lifting it up over his head. I don't know if that was the start of all this, but it must have contributed. He has toy garbage trucks. He even plays garbage truck. He'll tear up pieces of paper and throw them on the floor with other junk and then use his claw to pick it all up and drop it on his back behind him. Funny kid.

When we were getting close to Halloween, William wanted more than anything in the world to be a garbage truck, so Marla got some boxes and made one for him, and it is fantastic, wiper blades, headlights, rear lights, an open back where he could dump his candy, and, as fate would have it, the letters WM for waste management are also William's initials!

I got to their house Monday at about 4, and that kid was so excited about Halloween he was jumping around like a pogo stick. When the trick-or-treaters started knocking on the door he ran at a dead sprint to it to give them candy. Then he'd watch out the window for more kids, then open the door and yell, "Hey, over here!" He even wished the kids a happy Halloween.

I had planned to be a bag of garbage to go along with the truck, but William didn't like the idea. I don't know why, and his language skills are still limited, so he couldn't really tell me why. Maybe he didn't want anything added to or distracting from his already awesome truck. There's room for only one garbage costume in that town, and his was it. But, I did put it on for a few pictures with him using his claw.

And then we went trick-or-treating.

With cute Jonah, he was Luke Skywalker

In other Halloween news, there's a house in Marla's neighborhood that has the best yard display I have ever seen - the best - skeleton pirates with a ship and plenty of loot. I love it so much.

William wore out after about an hour. We pushed him for another 30 minutes before going home. I snagged two Reese's peanut butter cups (my favorite) from my generous nephews, and then went home feeling very happy and fulfilled by the spirit of Halloween. What a great holiday.

Hope you all had fun, too!

The Female Hulk

2011-10-13T09:59:00.000-07:00

I’m thinking that it’s a good thing that Dr Banner took the serum that turns him into the Hulk instead of his pretty partner taking it, whose name I can’t remember, but she was played by Liv Tyler in the last movie. Can you imagine what it would be like for a woman who becomes the Hulk to get through premenstrual syndrome? Can you imagine what that would do to the world? It's just too horrible.

I’m feeling Hulk-like as it is. I have the patience of a 3-year old. The bloating is making me huge. My eyes turn florescent green with irrational rage without any warning. I want to trash this office leaving in my wake a pile of rubble, sparking computers, small fires. I am more than capable of yelling so loud and so long that it would slam a co-worker up against the wall. And then I would to slink off, alone, to a dark corner where I would lie down and cry myself to sleep, and sleep until it all goes away. Please, just make it go away.

Because You Just Never Know

2011-10-07T15:18:00.000-07:00

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."
Henry David Thoreau

My heart is a little sore today. Aaron, my oldest brother, and his wife are facing the possible loss of her father. One week ago he was in a biking accident and was taken to the University hospital where he’s been unconscious since. Among his injuries is a severe blow to the head and internal bleeding. His condition is critical, and they may have some hard decisions ahead of them. As so many of you who have lost parents and parents-in-law know it’s a very difficult time.

Despite his sadness, Aaron, always being the big brother, had instructions for me. I said that its mind boggling to think that a person can wake up one morning and everything’s fine, and by the end of the day your whole life has changed, completely. He said, “You have to live deliberately. Make a plan, and then do it.” He’s right. I’ve never bought into the live like it’s the last day of your life mantra because, honestly, it’s so impractical. I have to go to work, do the dishes, and eat my vegetables. But I do believe in finding small, simple, beautiful things to be grateful for, and they exist in every day. And I believe that we are the masters of our souls (Invictus, Herman Ernest Henley). We are in control of our thoughts, behavior, actions, reactions. We decide what to do with our talents, intellect, resources, and with our relationships. So many unpredictable, uncontrollable events can change our lives in an instant, but still we decide how we are going to live our lives whatever the circumstances.

Aaron said another thing that will stick with me, “We need to be kind. You don’t know if the person you see on the street has a parent dying in the hospital.” Typing that out has made me tear up, so I don’t think that I’ll try to say more. I’m sure you understand the point.

Aaron is a very good man. I love him. I admire and respect him, and that almost means more to me than loving him. You have to love your family, but really liking who they are is so, so nice. I’ve learned a lot from his example of faith. My heart aches for Kristi, my sister-in-law, when I think that she has a father who might be dying in the hospital, but I know that the same faith and goodness that has brought them this far will see them through whatever comes next.

I’m sure that prayers would do them good, if you feel so inclined. Just say, “Angie’s brother” or “Aaron and Kristi”. God will know who you’re talking about.

Thanks, You are Loved.

2011-09-27T10:41:00.000-07:00

I have a subsrciption to Vanity Fair magazine. It's pretty good, lots of interesting articles, and while I don't live up to the lifestyles of those featured in the Vanity, it's fun to pretend every once in a while. My last issue featured a story about letters from Ernest Heminway to family and others that he wrote during his years in Paris. The letters are fascinating in their descriptions of Paris life, and it was kind of mind-blowing to look at something handwritten by one of our best authors.

Reading this got met thinking, people don't write letters anymore. It's become a lost art, and I wonder if our history won't be lost with it. So much of what we know about iconic figures was found in letters and journals, personal writings. Now we communicate with texts and tweets, or get on Facebook, none of which will be saved. What will the next generation know about us? And what will anyone know about the next generation? It will be interesting to see.

I think that I've mentioned before that my dad writes to me. I've kept every letter that he, and mom, have sent. The way he writes really reflects his personality, and I know that someday, maybe after he's gone, I'll be so glad to have his letters. I'll show them to others and say, "This is my dad", and I'll read them myself and feel close to him again.

I'm not trying to convince you all that you have to start writing letters. I don't do it. The closest I get is sending a card with a few short lines. Still, it's important to have something of yourself to share with those who will come after you. They'll want to know you. I want to know you. The blogging world has been nice for that. It makes me feel like I know you. And, you can have a blog printed into a book, something that some of my friends have done. There's something that will last.

Thanks, as always, for checking in with me. You are loved.

Celebrating 74

2011-09-14T15:48:00.000-07:00

Hello All! As you may know, I went on vacation last week. Wait, you probably don't know that because I haven't posted anything here for a month. Gosh all Friday! (a little saying I picked up from my Dad while on vacation) I flew to Minneapolis on Saturday, Sept 3, where I met Dad, and the two of us drove to Rochester where Courtney and his family live. Mom had had already been there helping Andrea with her children and their new baby girl. Olivia Sharon, named after my mom, was born on August 26th. She's very small and sweet and has cheeks just right for lots of kisses.

September 4th was Mom's 74th birthday. I set out with Amalia (who was having fits like every good 2-year old should and really needed to get out of the house) to the store for cake and birthday necessities. When we came to the candles, I debated between getting the numbers 7 and 4, or buying several boxes of individual candles. The idea of 74 candles really had me, so I bought the boxes.

Once home, I counted out the candles and asked Spencer and Drew to put them on the cake with me. Spencer asked why we were doing so many, and when I told him that Grandma was 74 years old he got a very puzzled looked. Drew said that the smoke alarm was going to go off, no questions about that. But we set to work, and the cake looked good. Well, actually it looked like a whole mess of candles, but we were happy with it.

After dinner, when it came time to light them, Courtney and I each used one of the longer candles to light the others. The candles were so close to each other that some of the wicks came together and made really tall flames, which created more heat. Everything melted into rivers of wax running all over the frosting. I broke a sweat sitting next to it, and Drew reminded us about the smoke detector. We sang "Happy Birthday" as fast as possible. It took Mom one good blow and another smaller one to blow them all out. I was eating my piece and saw a dot of wax that I hadn't scraped off yet. When I pulled on it a whole candle came up. Poor thing had been burned right down into the cake. I admit it was a mess, and next year I'm going with the 7 and 5, but Mom (and I) will remember the year of 74 candles for the rest of our lives.

Other trip events:
Shane, Donna and family spent Labor Day with us, and I learned, much to my dismay, that his boys can't play football. How does that happen in the Midwest? Still, it was good fun.

Mom, Dad and I drove to Chicago for a few days with my aunt and her family. Chicago has the best food in the world! I have mixed emotions about this because it's so wonderful when we're there, but so sad when I'm here craving that food.

We went to the Field Museum of Natural History.

The city was beautiful.

I found that my aunt's house feels as homey now as it did when I was a kid.

I spent way too much money shopping.

And, I flew home again on September 11th. Getting through security was much better than expected.

And now I'm back at work. I feel the need to start writing more, so I'll try to keep this blog going. I guess that's more of a promise to myself than to you. Hope you all had a great summer, and happy fall!

Playing with Boys

2011-08-10T13:37:00.000-07:00

For the last 10 days I have been at Marla’s house with her 4 boys while she and Mike celebrated their 20th anniversary in Cancun. I was nervous about doing this, not so much about taking care of the boys, but more about being away from home for so long. I have a comfortable place all my own in our little apartment. Staying in someone else’s house isn’t always so comfortable. Where do I sleep? What about the bathroom? Four boys will create a lot of dirty dishes, and dirty dishes really gross me out. The truth is, I’m set in my ways, and like things just so. You don’t get much ‘just so’ in a house full of kids. But, I summoned all of my courage, packed up my stuff, and went to Marla’s. After a couple of days I was settled into the routine, and then started to really like the domestic life. Here are a few highlights, observations, impressions, etc.

Zac and Josh, 16 and 14, are remarkably self-sufficient. Marla has told me many times that they’re okay to take care of things themselves, and she wasn’t lying. My first evening there, Josh fired up the grill and made us all burgers and hot dogs, and they were tasty. Wednesday I came home to find Zac cooking meat for tacos, with homemade salsa. Zac has been doing laundry. Josh got himself packed and out the door this morning for scout camp. Every time I’ve thought that I might need to help with something, I’ve found out that they’ve already done it. Remarkable.

Jonah, 9, is equally responsible. He’s back in school now, and that little boy sets his own alarm clock, gets up and dressed, gets his own breakfast and leaves the house right on time. My first morning there I got up with him and went into the kitchen to get him off to school and ended up wondering why I was there. He didn’t need a thing. Even his backpack was ready to go. After the first couple of mornings I didn’t even try to help. I said hello to him, asked how he was, and then went to the bathroom to get ready for work.

And then there’s William. I’ve never been so in love. With the older boys being so independent, William was really the reason I was there, to take care of him. He’s at a great age. He can talk, and is potty trained (hooray), but still little enough to pick up and squeeze. He’s bossy, and a bit spoiled (who did that I wonder?) and also sweet, and he gets excited about the littlest things, and it’s so much fun. He does like to get into things. I wish, literally wish, that I had a dollar for every time I looked at him and said, “What are you doing?!” The Visa card would be paid off.

Like I said, I’ve gotten very comfortable in my life. It’s simple, and I’ve come to not only like but sometimes revel in being single. All that’s mine is all my own. But, after a week of playing with boys I can see why girls want to get married and have a family. Especially when William comes running to me for a hug and says, “I love you, G.” I know, it’s all very Lifetime Channel made-for-tv-movie, very cliché, but having family is better. It’s better than being on your own. It’s a damned frustrating realization, but one has to face the truth. I’ll have to make Marla leave town again very soon.

An Old House in Kansas

2011-07-15T13:58:00.000-07:00

I found out yesterday that my grandparents’ house in Wichita, Kansas is up for sale. It’s been a long time since I’ve been there, probably not since high school. Grandma Ruth sold it in 1992 and moved to be closer to my family.

I learned about the sale online. I was thinking about the house a few days ago and wondered if I could find it on Google Earth, but I didn’t know the address. So while talking to Dad yesterday, I asked him if he remembered the address. Of course he did; he can tell you what the temperature was on July 17, 1962. So I got on Google and looked it up.

It was strange to be looking at an aerial view of a house I hadn’t been to for more than 20 years, and to immediately recognize every detail – the back patio that grandpa built, the garage we re-shingled one summer, the back yard where were I played one morning in new sandals that we had bought the day before. There was the back door – I remembered coming home from a trip to the zoo, walking in the backdoor with the family, up the stairs into the kitchen, and finding a note from my great-aunt Evelyn, grandma’s sister. She had stopped by, found grandma’s note saying that we’d gone to the zoo, and had written us a little poem about the zoo. Mom got such a kick out of that, so impressed with how funny and clever Evelyn was.

The back yard looked different. I couldn’t find the big brick grill/barbeque that Grandpa had built, where I loved to climb up and sit. But of course it would be different, someone else has lived there since 1992, but I was annoyed by the changes. Even though they’ve been gone for years, it’s still my grandparents’ house. In my mind I can see all of us at the table eating cold cut sandwiches, and Grandpa on the couch with his pipe. The television belongs in the corner by the window of the front room and the piano is on the opposite wall, with a picture of my mother in a long silky dress. Little plastic soldiers and farm animals that belonged to Aaron and Barry sit on the kitchen window sill. The tile on the bathroom floor is blue and white, and there is a big old style bathtub with claw feet. I loved it. To this day I want the same kind of tub in my home.

The phone is in the dining room, and next to it is a little device that holds the receiver to make it a speaker phone. That was great when they called because we could talk to both of them at once. There’s also a hutch in the dining room with all of grandma’s knick-knacks, and a white dish always full of Brach’s candy, caramels with different fillings, coconut Neapolitans, and hard cinnamon and butterscotch candies (Courtney has the dish now; it was the one thing he asked for after Grandma passed away).

Marla and I usually slept on cots in the living room. I could hear the cars passing on the street out front. On the farm nights are perfectly quiet. Sometimes, when I was still awake after everyone else was asleep, the silence was lonely. My little girl mind thought that I was the only person on earth. So when I was in my grandparent’s living room, I’d lie on my cot and listen to the cars. It was comforting.

The street is still there, of course, but everything, everyone else is gone. We’ve grown up and spread ourselves all over the country. After looking at the house on Google Earth, I did a random search of the address and found that it is currently listed for sale. So, even the woman who bought the house from Grandma is moving on. The listing said that the house was built in 1928. Mom thinks that her parents bought it in the late 1930s, 38 or 39. They raised their two girls, saw them move to Illinois and Minnesota, had their empty nest years, entertained grandchildren, and lived together until grandpa died in 1983. Then grandma took care of her home until 1992 when she realized that she couldn’t do it by herself anymore. For more than 50 years that house saw a family, in a home, living their lives. It held so much life, and all that life came back to me yesterday. It’s sad to think of strangers living there now, but that’s life, too, isn’t it, thing’s change. Still, the influence of those places stays with us, and more so the people. They make us who we are. That little house will always be a part of me, and I will hold it dear.

Some Random Topics

2011-07-08T13:54:00.000-07:00

Honestly
I have the hiccups. I’m sitting at my desk at work and trying to hiccup with my mouth closed, very quietly, but twice I’ve been caught off guard with hiccups escaping full and loud. It sounds like someone stepped on a seal. And that makes me giggle, so now I’m trying to stifle giggles and hiccups. My work habits are not likely to make it into Forbes magazine.

Independence Day
It was the 4th of July! I think I’ve said before that I’m not the most patriotic of Americans. I love my home, but I don’t buy into the idea that we are the greatest nation on earth. There are others that look just as good, at least in the travel guides. And I can’t stand that stupid Lee Greenwood song, “and I’m proud to be an American where at least I know I’m free…” You know the one. It’s played at almost every fireworks display across the country. One time I was at a soccer game with Barry’s family and watching some fireworks after the game, and Barry told me that if they played Lee Greenwood he was going to have a fit like I’ve never seen before. It was the next song up. He controlled his fit, but neither one of us was very happy.

Goodness, what a lot of bah humbug. I’m the Ebenezer Scrooge of Independence Day. That being said, there is much to be grateful for here in the USA (including documentaries on the History Channel and PBS), and I had a nice holiday. In fact, I went to another soccer game with Barry’s family, and there were fireworks, but this time they were accompanied by the Sandy City Orchestra, which was really good. They played songs like, “from the halls of Montezuma…” and “Stars and Stripes Forever”, perfect.

What the…?
I am troubled by a recent, mad craze of car accidents. I was in one a couple of weeks ago, rear-ended, but it was nothing serious. I was at a stoplight, and I think that the girl who hit me was practically stopped before her car rolled into mine. It left a few scratches on my bumper, nothing to worry about. But I have also witnessed, in two separate incidents, a car driving right behind me on the freeway hit the brakes too hard and spin out, just lost control and spun. Luckily no other cars were hit. I saw another accident at an intersection that left both cars damaged. And then there was the girl who ran into the cement barrier along the freeway, the one that keeps you from driving into the ditch and then into oncoming traffic. Who does that?

And it’s not just me - my coworker has been hit twice on her way into work in the last few weeks. The first time put her car in the shop, so she got a rental car, and this week the rental car was hit. And, a good friend of mine’s mother was in an accident that left her in intensive care for a few days. Thankfully she’s recovering well.

All of this in the last month or six weeks, what is going on? Are people just going too fast, or are too distracted, texting, sleepy, on the phone, all of the above? It’s starting to scare me. Please, everyone, let’s just take a deep breath, slow down and keep our eyes on the road. Accidents are at the very least a miserable inconvenience, and at worst, well we know about the worst. Be safe.

That’s all. Thanks, as always, for your kind attention.
You are loved.

Where Have You Been?

2011-06-24T08:37:00.001-07:00

Guys, it's been a long time and I've missed you! What's going on? My family was in town for about ten days and it was really fun. I introduced William to my daddy (see previous story), and he called him G's Daddy for most of the time that they were here. Silly kid.

Here are some of the things we did.

Amalia (2 years old) and I shared a bedroom. Courtney, Andrea and their three children stayed with me (thanks in part to Melissa's flexibility and patience), and we set her little playpen/crib up in my room. She's kind of a messy roommate, left her clothes on the floor and books everywhere, but other than that she was very sweet, quiet, slept soundly and didn't wake me up too early. Ideal.

We went to the Church History Museum downtown where we found a great display for the kids on Book of Mormon stories and the culture of South America. Drew (4) got to wear this fancy vest, go fishing, and learn a Spanish dance.

Marla hosted a backyard party. Barry got caught up in this puzzle (which, by the way, I've tried to do myself and found it impossible. It helped my self-esteem to see that Barry couldn't do it either). Spencer (6), always curious and pretty sharp, wanted to help. They puzzled and puzzled for quite a while.

I hosted my first big family day! I usually let my siblings take care of having everyone over because, come on, I live in an apartment and we don't fit, and besides I have a roommate who would feel driven out of her home. But this time we decided to face our claustrophobia and squeeze in to my place. We ate good sandwiches and swam in the pool. Success.

After so much activity, Amalia needed a drink. She really is sweet.

They left for home last Saturday morning. The time always goes so fast.

And now it's really summer in Utah! After a long, wet and cool spring (which I liked), the temperatures are climbing in to the 90s. I went to Marla's last night to swim with William in their pool and loved it. A private pool is one of life's greatest luxuries, and MAKES a summer. She wants me to teach William how to swim this year. I don't know that I teach swimming as much as just playing around in the water, but either way I'm all for it.

Hope you all have your own fun summer under way!

Thanks, as always, for stopping by.

You are loved.

A Conversation with William

2011-06-06T09:48:00.000-07:00

William and I were talking on the phone today. He started with, "Hel-wo G!" and I giggled because he's so cute. He told me what he was doing with his day, and what his family was doing, and then he said, "My daddy at work."

Me, "Your daddy's at work?"
"Yeah. You have a daddy?"
"Yes, I have a daddy."
And then Will asked, "What his name?"
Stifling a laugh, "Owen".

How interesting.

What he doesn't know is that my parents will be here on Thursday! I told Marla that we'll have to introduce William to our dad.

It's funny, though, isn't it, when kids start putting all of that together? I remember learning that my mom had a name, and it blew my mind. Realizing that parents have parents and siblings... it opens up a whole new world.

Mariah

2011-05-31T14:41:00.001-07:00

Yesterday the family got together to grill burgers and hot dogs and celebrate Mariah’s graduation from high school. This milestone makes me think about how much I love that girl, how grateful I am for her, and how I pray that she’ll always be happy and safe.

Here are a few of my many favorite things about Mariah:

She gives great hugs!

She loves Winnie-the-Pooh.

She was such a shy little girl, wouldn’t talk to anyone. But her quiet way was sweet, and made me feel like wrapping her up and protecting her.

She used to run everywhere and climb on everything and stopped at every water fountain for a drink. Actually, I think she still does that.

She would ask me the funniest questions, but with complete sincerity. Like one time, I had sore muscles from a workout and said that my bum hurt. She looked at me very seriously and said, “Do you have a rash?” She was a toddler at the time, and in her world a sore bottom meant a rash. It made perfect sense.

She loved to play and play. She still likes to play.

She’s so easy to have around, still kind of quiet, but has a good sense of humor and laughs easily.

And now she’s grown up, and beautiful. Mariah is good, down to her core. She makes the right choices because they’re right, not because her parents said so or because she has to. She has a strong sense of responsibility and wants to do well in school and at church, with everything, and she keeps herself on track. She’s just so good.

One day, years ago, I had Sierra and Mariah in the car. They were little; I think Sierra was four and Mariah two. Sierra, always full of questions, asked me what the word valuable meant. I told her that it can mean that something is very expensive or worth a lot of money, or it can be something that you love and never want to be without. She said, “That means Mariah's valuable!” Yes, it certainly does.

U2

2011-05-25T10:49:00.000-07:00

Remember how cool U2 was back when we were in high school? I saw them in concert last night, and they still are. They're cooler than ever. It was the most spectacular show I have ever seen. Here are some pictures stolen from ksl (my little phone camera couldn't do it justice).

The stage was the full width of the football field with a "claw" that was about 170 feet high. The band were under that thing, and a huge 360 degree video screen is attached to it. The sound, lighting and effects were beyond amazing. These guys ARE Rock Stars.

And now I need to get on Amazon and buy more U2 music.

The World Comes to Life

2011-05-13T12:53:00.000-07:00

A poem
by Me

I don’t mind winter.
In fact
I like it.

Are you stunned? It’s
Not a common opinion.
But something about

Feeling the sharp, cold
Air on my face wakes me up.
It makes a girl feel alive.

And sweaters,
How I love sweaters,
And warm air coming

Through furnace vents.
It’s cozy.
But,

Today I went outside
Into the spring sunshine.
The gardens are wild

With tulips, red, orange, yellow, pink.
The trees are in bloom, and the creek
Is rushing down from the mountains,

A tumult of water falling over itself
And the rocks with a thunderous,
Riotous noise.

It’s beautiful.
It’s glorious.
It’s joyous.

I like winter,
Fall is gorgeous,
Summer is easy and fun.

Oh, but spring,
The world comes to life
In the spring.

Strength

2011-05-03T14:25:00.001-07:00

Last Saturday Mariah, Savannah and I went to the art museum at BYU for an exhibit of paintings by Carl Bloch. Bloch is a Danish painter whose works on the life of Christ have been very popular around the world. The exhibit is of originals borrowed from churches and collections around Europe. Many of the paintings were done for alter pieces, really big paintings that hung at the front of chapels behind the alter. At the exhibit, these paintings were set up and framed like they would have been in a church, with columns and pillars. It was all beautifully done.

My favorite of the alter pieces, and of the entire exhibit, is this picture of Christ in Gethsemane. The scriptures say that when Christ was in the garden, “there appeared an angel unto him from heaven; strengthening him.” Always before when I read that scripture I thought of… well I don’t know what I thought, something more forceful; the angel stretching out his mighty arms with power radiating down in a white glow. So when I saw this picture, it really struck me.

Here, strength is given in tenderness and compassion; the angel supporting Christ, holding him up off the ground, with love instead of power. There’s no cheering, “Come on! You can do this!” Just an angel’s embrace.

I’ve thought a lot about this since seeing that picture, and have wondered about how I try to strengthen people, if I try at all, and if it’s loving rather than forceful. And, I’ve thought about the many times that I’ve been strengthened, and remember that honestly feeling loved gave me the support I needed. I’m trying to keep this picture in my mind and use it as an example of the kind of strengthening that works, and the kind I want to give.

Oh, and thanks again to the girls for going with me. They're always good fun.

An Ox in the Kitchen

2011-04-18T13:22:00.000-07:00

Andrea, my sister-in-law and Courtney’s enduring wife, commented on my last post, about dancing with Court and asked, “I thought he also bumped your mom's head on the stove another time too, didn't he?” Close, but it was me that he rammed into the stove, not mom.

We were dancing in the kitchen, as we liked to do (see previous post). He went for a big dip (now that I think about it, the big dips were the problem), lunging forward, really far forward, pushing me backward. The inertia of both bodies moving in one direction with such force was more than he could handle. He lost all control, hit the floor, and I was thrown into the stove.

But that wasn’t the worst of our accidents. We were horsing around in the kitchen another day. This time he wanted to throw me over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry (side note – I almost never knew what was coming. It’s not like he said, “I am now going to pick you up and carry you around” and then I said, “Okay that would be great”. He just came at me with the surprise attack). He squatted down and pulled me over his shoulders, and just as he was about to stand up, he farted. The passed gas started him laughing. He lost his balance and fell, driving my head right into the knobs on the cabinet door. It really hurt, and swelled up, and gave me brain damage.

Honestly, it was like growing up with Babe the Blue Ox.

But, he was also sweet and affectionate, funny and smart, and we spent almost all of our at-home time together. Along with tackling, fireman carrying, and pain-inducing dancing, he liked to read with me. He’d come up to me and say, “Ang, lets read”, so we’d find a book and sit close on the couch or one of our beds, with his head on my shoulder, and I’d read. That was one of my favorite things. Almost worth the brain damage.

Dance

2011-04-08T13:08:00.001-07:00

Hi, I haven't written anything here for a while! I'm not really writing today either, just sharing. My brother Courtney posted this on facebook today, and took it. "'When there's music, I dance', Spencer Sivertson, words to live by."

Courtney and I used to dance together when we were kids. I taught him how to waltz. Huh, I haven't thought about that for years - the memory just popped into my head. We did a simple box step, usually in the kitchen, and he bounced with each step. He used to dance with mom, too. One time he grabbed her up and said, "This is how we dance to a snappy tune", and then started to sing a little ditty while moving her around. Wanting to end big, he lunged forward for a dip, but instead kicked mom in the shin, and then laughed so hard he fell on the floor. Smooth. The King of Smooth. Funny though. Cute Spencer, I'm sure his dancing doesn't cause near as many injuries.

To Sum Up

2011-03-18T10:35:00.001-07:00

Hi, it’s been couple of weeks. Here’s a list of what’s been going on with Angie & Co.

Cute William had a birthday. He’s three now and it’s made him three times cuter.

Zachary also had a birthday. He’s 16, and still very cute, with a healthy dose of teenage angst.

My nieces Josie (14) and Amalia (2) also had birthdays and my nephew Jake (11), and….. ME! It was my birthday on the 10th.

One might ask, when seeing all of the March birthdays in my family, what’s up with March? I wonder what was going on the previous May/June that made everyone feel so amorous.

My birthday was very nice. The girls at work took me to lunch, and then there was cake filled with chocolate mousse. Melody and I went to Outback Steakhouse for dinner and filled ourselves with steak, potato and the joy of living another year. I received lots of text messages and wall posts on facebook. Thank you all for remembering me!

The next day Melissa and I went to dinner, and then saw “A Tale of Two Cities” at the Hale Theater. It was very good. Two Cities is one of my favorite books.

Along with dinner and a show, Melissa also gave me bronchitis, not quite as fun. She earned 2 points for the evening, and then lost 1 for the disease, which leaves her with a score of 1 point. We’ll see how she does in the final jeopardy round.

My nephew Noah was baptized March 5th. Here’s a picture of their very good-looking family.

I spent some quality time at the DMV, registering the Taurus and renewing my driver’s license. Quality time. The state now wants several proofs of US citizenship and residence before renewing a license, even if you’ve had a valid license for more than 15 years. I suppose there is always the chance that I’ve been an illegal immigrant all along…except that there isn’t any chance of that at all. What nonsense.

I finished one of the best books I’ve read in a long time, “The Invisible Bridge” by Julie Orringer. It starts in 1937 with a Jewish boy named Andras Levi going to Paris to study architecture. He falls in love and goes through all the joy and pain and joy that that brings. And then World War II starts in Europe. He goes home to Hungary, and his family is caught up in all that the war brings. It’s beautifully written, really beautifully, and reading it was an experience all its own.

Reading that book made me think about WWII and all of its devastation. How did people keep from thinking that it wasn’t the absolute end of the world? And how did they come back from it? The human race is remarkably resilient.

And that makes me think about Japan. We’ve had a flood of phone calls at the COB this past week from people wanting to know if their missionaries are okay. They all are, and we honestly believe it’s a miracle.

I’ve been distracted these last few weeks with birthdays and time off work and other events, and am now refocusing my attention on some long-standing goals. Long-standing because I never seem to accomplish them, but there’s still hope, right? I am 41 now, old enough to take charge of myself. I’m going to plagiarize my dear friend Tiffany (I hope you don’t mind) because I love what she wrote the other day, “I'm going to start making decisions that will benefit Future Self instead of just satisfying Present Self. Present Self is driving me nuts, eating too much, and not being tidy. She's like the worst college roommate… Time to put Present Self in her place and start sucking up big time to Future Self. I heard she's awesome.” Isn’t that good? Words to live by.

I think that’s it. Oh wait, one more thing, thanks as always for stopping by. You are loved.

Practice Makes Perfect

2011-03-01T14:34:00.000-08:00

Little William is talking more and more all the time, but still doesn’t fully pronounce all of his words. I was at their house a couple of weeks ago. William was jabbering away and said something about Jonah. Jonah said, “When he says my name it sounds like Jerk!” I listened more closely and yeah, it kind of did, very funny.

Last week I was back at their house, and William was talking to Jonah, and Jonah got a look of frustration and hollered, “Quit calling me Jerk!” We tried to explain that William thinks he’s saying Jonah, and that he doesn’t really even know what a jerk is. Jonah wasn’t too sure.

So yesterday I was talking to Marla on the phone, and then William got on to say hi. Marla said, “William, show G how you say Jonah”, and William said very carefully, “Jo-nah”, slowly and with two distinct syllables. Marla said, “Jonah worked with him on it all day.”

Nice work, Jonah. It’s always good to know when to take charge of the situation.

Sweet William
And Jonah on his last birthday.

Saving Me From Myself

2011-02-25T14:44:00.000-08:00

Guys, I am burned-out! Maybe it’s that end of winter blah feeling we all know so well. Maybe it’s my 6 days a week work schedule. I haven’t had a day off for more than a month. Or, maybe it’s the 1 full pound of sugar and 100 fluid ounces of Diet Coke I consume daily (they say that both are just like mood-altering drugs). Whatever it is, I just can’t be happy.

My first sign of burnout is deep fatigue. I drag myself around – drag out of bed, drag through the motions of getting ready for work, drag myself to the car and then to my desk. It’s all a drag. Fatigue is followed by crying. I’ll be on the edge of tears all day long without knowing why. I just walk around with my eyebrows pulled together and thinking, “I want to cry.” Sierra used to announce her crying, back when she was little (and this last Christmas when I beat her soundly at Apples to Apples). Little Sierra’s eyes would well up with tears and her face would scrunch and she’d say, “Crying. I’m crying Angie.” It was cute. It’s not so cute when I do it.

It doesn’t take long to realize that all of the tears are because I’m tired, and then a good nap or long night’s sleep will do the trick, maybe a weekend of naps. If that doesn’t work, if the burnout is determined to get me, then I slowly digress into the next step – grumpiness. It starts with periodic mild irritation and grows to all out, uncontrollable anger. I’m mad about everything – going to work, going home, people talking to me when I’m not in the mood (which is always), nothing good to eat in the fridge… it doesn’t matter what’s going on, I’m mad about it. This morning some of the guys were standing by my desk just having a friendly chat, and while doing the blank stare and nodding I was thinking, “This is boring. I don’t care about anything you’re saying. This is intolerable. I’M BORED TO DEATH. GET OUT! ” By the way – that’s another sign of burnout. Everything is so, so boring.

That’s where I’ve been for a couple of weeks now. I need a break, a vacation, a yacht on the sea. Luckily, my birthday is coming up, so I’ve scheduled a few days off. No plans really (and certainly no yacht) but just some time away from work will be nice. And, today I took a walk up by City Creek and saw green grass alongside the water, and a bunch purple crocuses blooming in someone’s front yard. I almost cried again. It was a sign of hope. Even though the wind was cold, there in the patchy snow was evidence of change and a new season.

So if you’re wrapped up in your house fighting off the cold and a deep desire to quit your life all together, or maybe to kill people, don’t despair. It’s almost Spring.

Valentines and Ten Dollar Bills

2011-02-09T09:51:00.001-08:00

My mother with my Grandma Ruth, circa 1953.

When I was a little girl, my Grandpa John and Grandma Ruth sent us cards on holidays. We each got our own card, and inside were two dollars. We got them for Valentine’s Day and Halloween. I don’t remember now if she sent cards for other holidays, but I definitely remember those two. I have a clear picture in my head of opening the card and seeing the two bills, so exciting.

They lived in Wichita Kansas, in the house my mom grew up in, and we’d go visit them at least once a year. They’d visit us about that often, too. On those visits they’d give us each a ten dollar bill to spend during the time we were together. Grandpa John was a recovering smoker. He carried hard candies in his pocket because having a candy helped him when he wanted a cigarette. He’d put his hand in his pocket and pull out a bunch of candy and offer me one. I usually picked butterscotch.

Grandpa John died in 1983, when I was 13, and Grandma lived on her own in their house for nine years. By then she was getting close to 90 years old, and realized that she needed to be close to family who could help her. So in 1992 she moved to the Fargo-Moorhead area where we were. She had a little apartment and took care of herself. Mom visited her a couple of times a week, took her shopping, etc. I saw her as often as I could, too, when I was home. I was in my early twenties then, and it was good to spend some time with her as an adult. When you’re young grandmas are for playing and fun and the ten dollar bills, but when you’re older you realize how interesting they are. Grandma told about her family when she was young, and about meeting my grandpa. She said he had style, wore nice clothes and always kept his car very clean. She talked about extended family who’d I’d never met but who had some great stories. One time she showed me three old pottery bowls that she’d gotten in Mexico. They’d been in southern California on a vacation, and walked across the border to Mexico. She bought the bowls and carried them back again. After telling me that, she got thoughtful and said, “I’m not sure that that was legal.” I laughed, and still get a kick out of Grandma carrying contraband over the border.

Grandma Ruth died in January 1997, at the age of 93, fourteen years ago now. When Mom and my aunt Beverly were going through her things, they found an envelope with ten dollar bills in it that she was saving to give to the grandkids when she saw us again. There were enough for each of us to get one more. I still have mine tucked in an envelope at home. I also have the cedar chest that Grandpa bought her before they were married (in 1929), and the clay bowls from Mexico.

This morning I was signing and addressing Valentines to send, and it made me think of Grandma Ruth. I’ve wanted to carry on the tradition of holiday cards with nieces and nephews, and have actually succeeded some years, but I’m not as good and Grandma was.

The Ball Game

2011-01-26T14:05:00.000-08:00

These are my girls, from tallest to smallest, Sierra, Mariah and Savannah. Aren't they pretty?

Actually, these were my girls about 14 years ago. Some of you who remember them coming in to the store might think that they still look like this, but they don't. Like I say, this was about 14 years ago, but certainly doesn't seem like it.

I did a lot of babysitting and a lot of picking them up and taking them places when they were that age. They liked to come to my house for sleepovers on weekends, too. During one of those sleepover weekends we came up with a brilliant game that will go down in history, well our history anyway. We had been to the grocery store and bought, along with cereal and cookies, giant bouncy balls - the kind that they keep in big cages and you have to pull them through the holes at the bottom. They're fantastic. We went from the store to a park where we sat in the grass to play, and then came a burst of creative genius, the kind only children can have. We had three balls and four players. We sat in a circle, and those with a ball threw it to the person without a ball. Lots of passing, back and forth, slowly at first and one at a time in a constant rotation, and then faster and faster until that one person was pummeled with three flying balls, and then screams and fits of giggles and running to get the balls back again. It was really fun.

We played the ball game a lot over the following years. There were times, of course, with all of those flying balls, that someone would get hit in the head. It didn't hurt, but girls being girls, it usually brought on some dramatic overreaction. So I laid down a ground rule - No crying. You can cry only if you're bleeding, broken or swelling. OK? OK. We started playing again. Savannah got hit, and her little face screwed up and a whiny sound started up, and then she looked at me, and I was looking at her, and she said, "I'm swelling." More fits of giggles.

Those girls were so much fun. It's strange, somehow over the years they got older than me. They've outgrown the ball game, and the swimming pool, and cuddling on the couch to watch movies, and all sorts of things. But I haven't. How did that happen? I don't know, but I suppose it was inevitable. I think, though, that the next time Sierra is home from school we're going to the store for balls, and I'm going to insist that they play the ball game with me. And it'll still be fun. Oh, and the no crying rule still applies.

It's Just Like Yatzee

2011-01-14T12:51:00.000-08:00

I went out for a lunchtime walk today. It was beautiful. The air was clean after some snow last night, and the sun was shining, and the creek in City Creek Canyon with a mix of ice and snow over it, with melted patches where you could see the water flowing, was the prettiest it’s ever been. It was the perfect place to clear my mind.

Being the New Year, I have thought about resolutions, and wanted to resolve to forget it all before I even started and thus avoid the crushing failure. I’m not good with resolutions. But, I feel like this year is going to be different…like changes are coming. I don’t know what or how or why, but my gut is telling me to get ready. And the strangest thing is that I feel really good about the feeling. It’s not scary. Usually a change for me is the equivalent of getting kicked in the head by fate, but not this time. This one’s going to be good. I feel happy, really happy, and ready for the cosmic circles to bring it.

I was thinking about this while walking, and then I thought about a lesson I’m teaching this week. It’s from President Eyring’s last conference talk called “Trust in God, Then Go and Do”. Trusting has been a hard thing for me. I’m an over-thinker, and I always want desperately to know what’s coming and when. I suppose that’s normal. But the truth is that most of the time a person doesn’t know what to expect. That becomes more and more evident as we get older, and after too many disappointments it can be hard to trust.

And then I remembered playing Yatzee with Barry, Courtney and Spencer at my parent’s house last summer. Spencer was 5 at the time. Usually the little kids will play on a team with an adult, but Spencer is pretty sharp, and wanted to play his own game. So Courtney sat beside him and coached him along, and I was very impressed with how he did it. Spencer rolled the dice, and looked them over. Court would show him the options, “You can keep these two 4s and try for some more, or you have two 1s…”, and then he’d let Spencer make his choice. When it was time to add up his points, Spencer would stare at the dice, sometimes put his little hand on his head, and think. If he was really stuck then Courtney would help, “You have three sixes, what’s six plus six?”, and Spencer would say twelve, “Ok, and then add six more.” Sometimes it would take Spencer some time to figure it out, but Courtney patiently let him work it through until he got the right answer and wrote it down on his score card.

I thought, “Wow! If that were me I’d take the card and do all of the adding and writing, and think that I was helping." But that wouldn’t have helped Spencer. He was capable of figuring the answers out and of keeping his own score, and he needed to do that work for himself. That’s how he learns. So I walked today with that picture in my head – Spencer working through his adding problems with Courtney sitting patiently, right there beside him. The child is left to work, but his father is always there.

Isn’t that how life goes with all of us? We have to do most of the work on our problems ourselves, but there is someone there for backup, family, friends, and most importantly our Heavenly Father. He’s always right there, and if we know that and trust it, then the work isn’t so hard, an uncertain future isn’t scary, and this feeling that my life could change this year is good. It’s really good.

Best of luck to all of you with whatever the year brings. Thanks, as always, for being here for me.

You are loved.

G Mom

2011-01-12T09:56:00.001-08:00

I'm sure I've mention William before...haven't I? I think so. He's sweet. When he was born Marla and I started a little joke about me having shared custody. According to my plan, she gets feeding and diapers and waking up in the middle of the night and general daily care, and I get to go on fun activities, give lots of hugs and kisses, and adore him and be adored in return. Actually, now that I think about it, that's the arrangement I've had with all of the kids. But, with William I also get to share pictures and tell people that he's mine. I've held up my end of the deal pretty well.

I was talking to Marla today, and she said, "William has a new name for you, it's G-Mom. I asked him, 'You mean G and Mom?', and he said, 'No, G-Mom'. Even when he's saying his prayers he prays for his G-Mom."

My heart is melting.

He prays for me.

And he adds Mom to my name.

I asked Marla if that bothered her. She said that it didn't. So it looks like I am the backup mom, and I think it's the sweetest thing in the world.

I Like the Bings

2011-01-07T09:39:00.000-08:00

My blogging friends have real life events going on! Sierra has decided to stay at the BYU-I this semester (even thought she's off track till April, they have tracks there so that they can... never mind, that'll take to long). She's taking online and evening classes and in all ways being a responsible grown up putting in extra effort towards her education. Good girl. Tiffany has skydiving passes in hand, and Nicole has adopted twin boys! They're gorgeous, and she seems to be very taken with them. Congratulations.

And what about Angie? Well I'm going to rant about the one thing that's going on in my life - television. There's a trend in the lives of our tv friends that I just hate, and it is spending at least one full season, usually more, painstakingly and heartbreakingly bringing two people who belong together together just to have them break up for some stupid reason in less time than it took to get them together. The emotional turmoil has been enough to make me consider suing for distress. Honestly, I've lost all patience with it, and I believe that this is why my favorite shows are free of will-they-or-won't-they couples. Modern Family, for example, is brilliantly funny, and you don't have to worry in the least about any of those couples breaking up. And Wipeout, well, that's just people getting hit in the face and knocked into a big pool of water. Did you see it last night? Ha, I'm still laughing.

Anyway, on the other hand, I'm about done with Glee, and the final nails in the coffin were Emma marrying someone other than Mr Scheuster and Finn breaking up with Rachel. For crying out loud. Why did we go through more than a year of watching them long for each other? What a waste of my time. There are other shows that I've dumped for the same reason, The Big Bang Theory and Grey's Anatomy being two of them.

I did stick with Friends through the long and tedious Ross and Rachel ordeal. But, that show had a beautifully redeeming factor - Chandler and Monica. Those two don't get enough credit. They are one of the best TV couples ever, and the best thing about them is that once they got together they stayed that way. We got to watch their relationship grow through dating, marriage, infertility, adoption and buying a house for their family on Long Island, all with them loving each other along the way. Why aren't there more stories like that out there? Do TV writers really think that viewers are only interested in the pain of being in love? I may be an old maid, but I'd still like to believe that being in love can be a happy time, and that good relationships last.

That's my rant. Thanks for listening. I was considering writing A Week in Review, but this is all I have to talk about, so we'll call it good here. Still, thanks, as always, for your kind attention. And of course you are loved (unlike poor Mr. Scheuster, who in spite of his hotness, singing voice and dance moves can't have a healthy relationship to save his life).

A Story from the Farm

2011-01-06T13:40:00.001-08:00

I have a lot of stories about my little brother Courtney. Here is one of my favorites.

My dad worked for a few years for a sunflower research company. The sunflower fields were close to our home, and my siblings and I spent many summer days out in those fields. The company owned an old 1970-something Plymouth van, full sized, white with a dark green stripe through the middle. It was very good for hauling crews of grubby teens out to work.

One afternoon, Courtney and I were riding with Dad through the fields in that van. Court, who was maybe 7 years old, was in the front seat and looking at himself in the rear-view mirror. Something must have made him want a closer look, because he leaned out of his open window toward the mirror, hooked his arms over the door and got almost nose-to-nose with his reflection. Just then Dad slowed the van down and turned a corner. The inertia of the turn and the weight of Court’s body made his door swing open. He kept those arms hooked to the door and held on, his body dangling, for the full swing, and then he dropped into the dirt.

Dad shouted, “Well!” Dad always shouted “well” when something surprised and disgusted him beyond words.

He stopped the van. Courtney got up, brushed off the dirt, got back in the van, and we were on our way. He wasn’t hurt, or all that phased by it really. That was just one of the many things he fell out of, or off of. I’ll save those stories for another time.

Pictures

2010-12-31T07:14:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

A Week in Review

2010-12-22T10:43:00.000-08:00

Hello All! It’s a pre-Christmas, Wednesday edition of A Week in Review. So if you’ll please take your seats we’ll get started.

Shopping
Now I know that there are lots of reasons why people are still not done with their Christmas shopping, most of which are invalid. Some are ok. One year my sister-in-law had pneumonia the first few weeks of December, so she got a pass on the procrastination. But I digress; the real reason for this paragraph is to give you a word of warning – if you do go out shopping these next few days don’t expect retail workers to have any Christmas cheer left. Honestly, at this point, we couldn’t care less if you get what you want for Christmas. We’re worn out. Having said that….

Merry Christmas!
After today I am done with work and my parents will be here! They arrive Thursday afternoon. I’ve got the apartment clean and decorations are up. I washed some sheets. I kind of gave up on guessing what they might like to eat, and asked Mom if we could go to the grocery store when they get here. Is that lame? She didn’t seem to mind. We’re having a family Christmas Eve with all of the siblings and their families and lots and lots of food!

Mom told me that she and dad have been practicing the fine and beautiful art of Tai-chi (I can’t help smiling when I say that). They’re going to bring their dvd and start the day with some meditation and very slow movement, with their hands in a kung-fu grip. No wait, I think it’s that board chopping position. Anyway, it’s all going to be very Zen. She seemed to suggest that I get up and do some Tai-chi with them, but I can imagine that happening, because it involves getting up, and Tai-chi. Actually, I think it’s great that they do this, and if it keeps them feeling good then I’m all for it. Isn’t it strange, though, the things parents pick up as they get older? I never would have guessed it. I suppose they think the same thing about me.

In other Christmas fun – I went to a high school Christmas concert on Monday, haven’t done that since I was in them more than 20 years ago. Mariah is in the bell choir, and she did a beautiful job. Actually, the whole concert was quite good. We ended with a rousing rendition of the Hallelujah Chorus with full orchestra and choir. And, before the concert, Sierra showed me her picture in the trophy case! Her academic decathlon team won the regional championship a couple of years ago. Nice.

IWALY
I have a good friend named Joel who has done some beautiful work with designing and hand making jewelry. The pieces are all centered on the theme of staying close to loved ones where ever they are, especially with children as they grow up and move away. Each piece comes with a story based on that theme. I couldn’t do it justice trying to describe it, so here is the link and you can take a look.

I think that’s it. Merry Christmas to you all! I do hope that you have fun, that you love your gifts, and that you find some quiet, peaceful moments, too. Thanks as always, for your constant care.

You are loved.

Presents and Plans

2010-12-15T09:15:00.000-08:00

I know that they way I usually talk about the COB makes it sound like I work in an infirmary for the very old and senile. Sometimes it feels that way, but honestly my coworkers are some of the kindest hearts I’ve ever known. Christmas time is proof of it.

My immediate group of coworkers includes 10 people. Every December, every one of them brings gifts and not just a bowl of candy for the group to share, but real gifts for each one of us. So far I’ve gotten a very pretty candle, a giant bag of Ghirardelli chocolates, lotions, a DVD, a necklace, a full sized roll of wrapping paper and jingle bells, and a lace table runner. Oh, and some apples with the best toffee dip I’ve ever had. I’ve found a present on my desk every morning for more than a week. A few days ago I took some of it home and showed Melissa the new loot. She said, “It really is every day.” And I said, “Yes, every day.” Merry Christmas to me.

I have something for them, too, of course – little books that I got at the store with a Christmas message. That’s not as nice as a lace table runner, but I hope they’ll like it.

In other news, did I tell you that my parents are coming here this year, and that they’re staying with me? I’m excited about it. I’ve never had them stay with me before. I suppose I should go to the grocery store…? What do parents eat? Will it still be ok to sleep till 11:00 every day? I’ll work that all out later. For now, I’m just really looking forward to it.

Christmas

2010-12-06T15:18:00.000-08:00

Last night some family and I went to the Christmas Devotional at the Conference Center. This has been a tradition for us for some years, and I always look forward to it. My friend Nicole said once that Devotional was her start to the Christmas season, and I have to agree. I wasn’t really feeling it before last night, but the scenery, songs and messages put my heart in the right place for the holidays.

President Uchtdorf’s message was especially meaningful to me this year. He actually quoted from “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas”! “Every Who Down in Whoville Liked Christmas a lot…But the Grinch, Who lived just north of Whoville, Did NOT!” He said that with all of the business and frenzy of Christmas, it’s easy to become exhausted and burnt out on the whole thing, and to think, like the Grinch, that “I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"

I admit, and most of you already know, that I have struggled to feel any magic in Christmas at all these past few years. I’ve fought feelings of loneliness and the disappointment of not having a family of little ones to wake up with on Christmas morning. I’ve looked back at the completed year and thought that it wasn’t much to feel positive about. And, of course, I work retail! If those other things don’t kill Christmas, then retail certainly will. I have often gotten to about December 20th and wished that the whole thing were just over. Sad and shameful, I know.

But, this year I feel differently. Maybe it’s because I’ve opened my eyes to all of the blessing life has given me. Maybe it’s because I’ve taken notice of my friends at the store who are there working with me and know how much I love being there with them. Maybe it’s that my heart has finally matured enough to accept and even appreciate the simple pleasures of being single, or because I know better that my family loves me for who I am. I think it’s a little bit of everything. And, last night, President Uchtdorf reminded me of something else, something more – Christmas is the celebration of the birth and life of the Savior of the world. I believe in Christ with all of my heart. I believe in his love for all of us, and that brings real joy.

This year I’m going to keep things simple, keep from spending too much money, enjoy time with friends and family, and work to being the best Angie I can be, the kind of person the Lord would have me be.

I hope that you all find your own moments of peace, joy and gratitude over the next few weeks. And if the urge to be Grinchy becomes overwhelming, just remember that God loves you, and Angie does too ;).

PS - If you didn't get to see the devotional, or are wondering what I'm talking about, there's a link here.

A Week in Review

2010-12-03T12:58:00.001-08:00

Remember when I used to write A Week in Review? Do you remember it fondly? I do. I remember it as a time when I had something to say, before the long age of “eh”. But I have some stories today! So let’s do A Week in Review.

Jonah is turning 9…
And he might not live to see 10 if he doesn’t stop texting me. I’m kidding of course. I love that little boy, but honestly the anticipation for his birthday this weekend has him crazed. It’s all about Harry Potter this year. His teacher at school is reading the books to the class while the kids follow along in their own copies. Jonah loves it – LOVES it. He also loves Legos, and when he found out that Lego makes Harry Potter sets he came a little unhinged.

We were at Walmart a couple of weeks ago and looking at toys. They didn’t have much in the Harry Potter Lego department, and he was a little disappointed. When we got home we looked at some websites, and picked out the sets that he liked. I made a mental note, and then the next week got on Amazon and ordered the Quidditch set. That seemed safer than hoping to find it at a store. I told Marla, and she told Jonah. He pretty much knew what he was getting for his birthday because he had outlined very specific orders, so there was no harm in telling him. No harm until he started writing me every day, several times a day, to ask if I had it yet.

Here are some actual messages:
Monday, Nov 30, 8:57 pm, “Did you get my quidditch set yet?”
8:59 pm, “Did you?”
9:01 pm, “My birthday is this Friday!”

Then he sent a very cute picture of himself.

Tuesday, Dec 1, 3:58 pm, “Did you get the quidditch set?”
7:18 pm, “Did you get the quidditch set?”
9:17 pm, “Did you get the quidditch set?”
9:22 pm, “Party is in 2 days.”
9:23 pm, “When will it be here?”

Really, I’m not making this up. Now granted, I’m not good at checking my phone for text messages, so he probably sent one, waited for an answer (sometimes for a full 2 minutes) before sending another, but still it was getting out of hand. I tried to appease him by saying that I was sure it would be here in time for the party. I should add that he was very sweet, and called me himself to invite me to his party, and then he said he wanted to introduce me to his friends. So polite.

Yesterday I got my first message just before 4, probably about the time he got home from school. I decided to call the apartment office at home to see if they had a box for me (the mailman drops boxes off at the office). They had a delivery from Amazon, so I called Marla and told her that the quidditch set was here, and that I’d bring it to the party. The party is today. Jonah got on the phone, too, so I told him, and he said that he couldn’t wait, and that he can’t sleep because he’s so excited. I guess that explains the 9:22 pm texts. I assured him that he would be ok. He wasn’t so sure.

Later, another text message:
“Could bring the package?”
I told him I’d bring it to the party the next day.
“Today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” with enough exclamation points to fill up the phone's screen.
I didn’t give in.
Another message, “Can you come over?”
No, I couldn’t.
I was on the freeway driving home when my phone went off again. I looked and saw simply this, “Give me the set.”

He was one step away from threats of violence.

But I didn’t cave. This morning my phone rang at 6:00, waking me out of a dead sleep. It took too long to gain conscientiousness to get to the phone, but I saw that the missed call was from Jonah. Maybe that was his revenge, if he can’t sleep then neither will I.

Tonight I will go see Jonah at his birthday party and hand over the Harry Potter Lego’s Quidditch set. It will be a huge relief for both of us.

Books
Dear Sierra wrote a good blog post about the little library they have at her house, and it made me think about all of the books from my childhood. She talked about writing her name in her books when she was little, and I did the same thing. Here’s a picture of one example.

I like to date things and give specific information, even to this day. The book is “Little House in the Big Woods” by Laura Ingalls Wilder, and as you know it’s the first book in the Little House series. My great aunt Evelyn sent me one each year for Christmas. She died before she could send the whole set, so when I was older, in fact when I was working at the bookstore, I decided to order the books I didn’t have to complete the set. When I got the first ordered book I held it in my hands, and it seemed so small. I remembered my books from Evelyn being much bigger, and was a little upset that the set wasn’t going to match. Mom still had my original books at home, so it was some time before I had those in hand again, and when I did I was shocked to see that my old books were the same size as my new books! They weren’t smaller, I was bigger. I was honestly shocked to see the difference between my memory and the reality. I suppose everything seems big when you’re little.

There is, in that book, a story about Laura, Mary and Ma boiling molasses and sugar and then pouring it into clean snow where it hardened and made candy. My mom thought that was a fun idea, so she did the same thing. We got a big pan of clean snow from the yard, and poured in the syrup, in squiggley shapes, and let it harden. It tasted like molasses taffy.

We had a set of children’s picture books on American history. I think I’ve mentioned these before. Dad read them to me, and when my little brother Courtney got older I read them to him. I have them now at home, and still pull them out from time to time. There’s a lot to learn in a children’s history book. These really are a much loved treasure.

Well, I think that’s enough for today. Thanks, as always, for checking in.
You are loved.

Things to be Thankful For

2010-11-23T13:19:00.000-08:00

A short list of things to be thankful for, in no particular order:

A good grilled chicken sandwich with mayo
French fries in all their varieties
The home furnace
A warm bed
New shoes
Cheese and crackers
Books and reading and learning
Good conversation
Good tv shows. There are so few, maybe that’s what makes them special
Pens and notebooks
Hand crème
Sweaters
The first snow. I know, I know, but it is pretty
The office closing at 1:00 because of the snow
Finding a really good gift idea
Having friends at work
Having friends at home
Stuffing
Quiet time
A day to yourself – again because there are so few
Hugs and kisses
Thanksgiving Day
And, of course, I’m thankful for you.

Happy Thanksgiving!
You are Loved

Some Useful Spanish

2010-11-12T14:05:00.000-08:00

Here in the Missionary Department we work with mission presidents in Central and South America who speak Spanish and only Spanish. Some try to piece together English phrases to ask for the person they want to talk to, and I have a few phrases written down (given to me by my friend Nicole when I was new here) to help me tell people that so-and-so is on the phone or to ask if I can have so-and-so call back. It's not conversational Spanish, but I get by.

Today, though, the language barrier brought a president and me to a dead stop, so I asked Tim to please help me out. Tim, along with a few others, are fluent. In fact, he was a mission president in Guatemala for three years. Anyway, I asked him to talk to the president for me, he did, and then he came to my desk and told me that I needed to learn some Spanish.

"The first thing you need to know is, 'quieres combate?'"

Me, "What does that mean?"

Tim, "Do you want to fight?"

I'm going to be challenging callers to put up their dukes from now on.

I'm Not Dead Yet

2010-11-05T14:09:00.000-07:00

I was looking through the blog and realized that I haven't really written anything for almost two months. What the heck? I suppose the fact that there have been other kinds of posts here tells you that I'm still alive, but I thought I'd send confirmation out to the blogosphere just for good measure.

The truth is, there's nothing going on with me. Oh sure, there's the usual getting up and going to work and going home, having dinner, watching tv, reading and going to bed routine interspersed with shifts at the bookstore and an occasional movie. I still drink too much Diet Coke and start a new eating plan every Monday (Melissa came up with a "game" to help us stay off the sugar. We put out a jar and had to put a dollar in it every time we had a treat. I put my dollar in the first two times I cheated, and then just started cheating on the treats and the dollar. She was telling me one day about all of the times she's thought about eating something but then remembered that it would cost her a dollar, and I finally came clean, "I've totally been cheating on that." Badly done, Angie. Badly done). But nothing in my day-to-day has seemed blog-worthy. I don't want to bore you anymore than is naturally unavoidable.

Of course, it's not that there's anything wrong. I'm happy enough. No big problems clouding my mind or making me retreat into a dark abyss. I am starting to feel some anxiety over the looming Christmas season at the bookstore (is it really time for that already?) and am practicing some relaxation techniques to get me through it. Actually, over the last few months I've come to appreciate my DB friends more, and have taken strength in the fact that we're all in this together. Sure the days can be long and frenzied, but my job is no worse than theirs, and if they can get throught the holidays without killing someone than so can I.

So anyway, this post has no point, other than to check in, acknowledge my own presence, and to say that I haven't forgotten any of you. I hope you haven't forgotten me.

You are loved.

Halloween

2010-11-03T14:39:00.000-07:00

Some pictures from Halloween, without much commentary, mostly for my mom.

Halloween Fun Facts

2010-10-29T12:50:00.000-07:00

Here are some fun, and interesting, Halloween facts.

Angie loves this holiday.
It started with ancient Celtic tribes in Britain who believed that there was one day between the seasons of life (summer and harvest) and the season of death (winter) when spirits would rise and walk the earth. The day was called Sauwin.
Druid priests, their spiritual leaders, tried to foretell whether or not their villages would survive the winter.
People built bonfires and wore demonic masks hoping to repel the spirits and save their villages.
2002 was the last year that Angie really put together a Halloween costume. She was a bottle of Diet Coke.
In the 8th century, when the Catholic church was converting the pagans to Christianity, Pope Gregory the III established a day to honor the saints - All Hallow's Day. It was held on November 1st.
People were fine with a new holiday, but didn't see any reason to give up Sauwin, so they had their bonfires and masks on October 31, All Hallow's Eve.
See, it's not so much the dressing up herself that Angie loves about Halloween, but seeing all the kids dressed up, and watching them run through the neighborhood trick-or-treating. It's so fun.
When the Puritans came to America, they left all of the outlandish traditions of the Old World behind them. They had no time for Halloween, or Christmas, but that's another story.
In the 1800s immigrants from Europe came swarming into America, including the Irish, who still liked Halloween and started the tradition up in the USA. Thank you Irish.
This year, Marla is telling Angie that she has to have a costume to go trick-or-treating with them. What?! Since when? Oh for heaven's sake.
The bonfires were shrunk down to lanterns made out of gourds - the first jack-o-lanterns.
The masks turned into full Halloween costumes.
Angie has decided that her roommates witch hat and some heavy make-up will have to do.
By the 20th century Halloween had become a major holiday in the States, and is very lucrative for the retailers.
Angie is very excited about taking Jonah and William out on Saturday night! And she and Marla are putting together a meal of finger foods. Not actual fingers...but that would be creepy, wouldn't it?
And finally - a few places here in Salt Lake that are totally haunted: This is the Place Park, The Capital Theater, and The Devereaux House, more information here.

Happy Halloween!!

You are loved.

Scamming the Choir

2010-10-15T09:03:00.001-07:00

As some of you may have heard, David Archuleta is singing with the Moromon Tab Choir at their Christmas concert this year. When I heard that, I immediately knew that I did not want to go. Sometimes you just know, you know. I also knew that my nieces would love to go, and later when I talked to Melody she told me that yes, indeed, their family wanted tickets. Some years ago the folks in charge of this program decided on using a registration then random selection system to give out tickets. They're free, and in very high demand. So a person goes online and registers for tickets, and then hopes to be picked. Here at the COB the feeling is that out-of-staters get preference in the picking. Knowing this, I asked my mom and Shane and Courtney's families if I could register their names. Here's the email I got back from Court:

Courtney
Absolutely, I'm always looking for a way to scam the Mormon Tab. Choir! I hate them so much.

Angie
Ha! What did the tab choir do to you?!

Courtney
About 12 years ago I tried out for Mo. tab.. For my audition I did a breathtaking rendition of the Twisted Sister classic "We're not going to take it". They said they would get back to me, but so far nothing.

Angie
They're still reeling. And looking at each other saying, "What the..." I understand your contempt.

So, we have several households, all over the country, registered for tickets. Wish us luck.

"I hate them so much." That's gonna be funny for a long time.

Oh Yes It's Ladies Night

2010-10-04T08:25:00.000-07:00

Those of you who used to work with me at the store are well aware of the horror that is Ladies' Night. I bet you still wake up in a cold sweat, don't you? I don't anymore because the store took my soul some time ago, like a Dementor. I haven't felt much since.

Anyway, last Saturday was Ladies' Night again. I was trying to find a means of defence before going in, and realized that the real reason for my stress in huge crowds is that I feel like I have to take care of all 3,500 of these women just as fast as I can, and then I get overwhelmed, and then flustered, and then irritable, and then angry. So, this time I decided that I wouldn't rush, just take care of each one, one at a time, without frenzy. It worked pretty well, and I finished the night without yelling, punching or kicking.

But there was one incident that is still making me shiver. I was ringing a woman up at the register. She held her hand out and said, "Will you throw this away?" I hate taking other peoples' garbage, but I held out my hand, and she dropped what she had into it. I turned toward the garbage can, and just before dropping it in saw that I was holding a wad of this woman's hair. Hair! From her own head! Ew! I felt my face screw up disgust, but I don't think she saw it. Hair. Honestly. Not ok.

A Good Poem

2010-09-30T09:45:00.000-07:00

I read this on the Writer's Almanac today, and while I don't work like this woman does, I get what she's saying - sometimes you just have to take care of it yourself. Hope you enjoy.

Clara: In the Post Office
by Linda Hasselstrom

I keep telling you, I'm not a feminist.
I grew up an only child on a ranch,
so I drove tractors, learned to ride.
When the truck wouldn't start, I went to town
for parts. The man behind the counter
told me I couldn't rebuild a carburetor.
I could: every carburetor on the place. That's
necessity, not feminism.
I learned to do the books
after my husband left me and the debts
and the children. I shoveled snow and pitched hay
when the hired man didn't come to work.
I learned how to pull a calf
when the vet was too busy. As I thought,
the cow did most of it herself; they've been
birthing alone for ten thousand years. Does
that make them feminists?
It's not
that I don't like men; I love them - when I can.
But I've stopped counting on them
to change my flats or open my doors.
That's not feminism; that's just good sense.

"Take it Down a Notch for America"

2010-09-28T13:37:00.000-07:00

Friends, family and I are fully behind Jon and his cause, and if I had any money at all I'd totally be in Washington DC for the rally. Instead, I'll be there in spirit, and hoping that this rally blows the socks off of all others. Take a look.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Rally to Restore Sanity

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show Full Episodes

Political Humor

Rally to Restore Sanity

A Week in Review

2010-09-17T13:01:00.000-07:00

Up until about 20 minutes ago I had just one thing to tell you about for this week, and then my coworkers decided to go all Ringling Brothers Circus. Here is A Week in Review.

The Office, COB Style
Ah, my beloved coworkers.

We recently got an email on new internet/security policies, and it said that if you write a blog, don’t use anyone’s names unless you’ve asked them if it’s ok. Since I don’t really want to ask everyone how they feel about my blog, we will from now on be using character names.

Jack was on the phone with a stake president, and he needed to get the MTC president in Peru on the line for a conference call. He asked the main operator to help him do this by getting the MTC on the line and then ringing them through to him. The operator tried to call Jack back, but because he was already on a call with the SP, he didn’t answer the operator’s call. Our phones have call waiting, and it’s pretty easy to use, if you’re not over 75. The phone screen has caller id, and when a second call is ringing you hear the beep and can see on the screen whose calling. So I tried, many times, to tell Jack that when the operator called him he needed to answer it – just hit the “answer” button. It will put the other guy on hold. Well he couldn’t get it, and every time the operator called she eventually rang over to me because he wasn’t answering, and I couldn’t transfer her back again because you can’t transfer the operator. I don’t know why, you just can’t. So over and over again I stood in his door saying, “Just answer it! When she calls answer it!” On the third or fourth try the operator told me that she couldn’t get Peru anyway and that she was done. Goodbye.

I told Jack what she said. He still needed Peru, so he tried calling there himself but with no luck. So he came out of his office hollering if anyone had another phone number for them. He’s loud, and I’m pretty sure that he still had the SP on the line where he could hear the whole thing. I found a phone number and called it but got a recording in Spanish, so we put it on speakerphone and Jack listened to it (he speaks Spanish). The recording gave us their new number, but he’d tried that number and it wasn’t working. What to do now?

In the mean time, Earl, overhearing the ruckus, decided to come to the rescue. He made a few calls, and before we knew it the president in Peru was calling me! Hallelujah!

Act 1, Scene 2: “Hello, this is President W in Peru. Earl was calling me, and I’m just calling him back.”

Angie, “Jack needs to talk with you. I’ll let him know you’re on the line.”

Angie, knowing that getting this transfer through to Jack when he’s already on a call is going to be difficult (having learned from the operator debacle), goes to Jack’s door and says, “I have President W on my line. When I call you, answer it. You need to answer it.”

President W, “Ok, I will.”

Angie, “Oh president no, I’m sorry, I was talking to Jack.”

President W, “Oh, ok.”

Jack looks confused, and Angie knows that there is little hope of pulling this off. Change of battle stations.

Angie, “Sherry, will you go to my desk and transfer this call to Jack. I’ll stay in his office to answer it.”

Sherry does this. When the call comes through to Jack, the caller id lights up, and Jack, still not sure of what’s going on, asks the SP to hold. Angie hits the “answer” button. She then, with speed and agility, hits a few more buttons that connect everyone on one call. Success! High fives and wiping of sweaty brows all around. Done, and with only two outside people having to overhear how hard it is for COB workers to answer the phone.
End scene.

Second Story
Today is Sally's birthday, and I didn’t notice it on my calendar and didn’t put anything together for her. When I realized it, I got that rush of heat to the face that you get when you know that you’ve done something terrible, how stupid to forget her birthday. I went to her desk and apologized over and over, and she was very nice about it. She said that at her age you’d rather people forget your birthday. People say that, but do they really mean it? I don’t think so. Anyway, we made a plan to eat chocolate cake next week.

I wrote an email to Melody (we write to each other throughout the work day) and told her about my mistake, and then mentioned that there is a lot of pressure to celebrate things in the office. She agreed, too much pressure. A few minutes later someone from the second floor was here to talk to someone, and he mentioned that there was cake downstairs to celebrate the 10th anniversary of someone’s liver transplant (I’m not making that up). Really?! I can’t remember Sally's birthday, but they think to throw a party for the anniversary of a liver transplant? All I could do was laugh, and honestly it’s going to be funny for a long time, shake my head in disbelief funny.

One Thing Right
Remember last spring when I said that I was going to be more of a homemaker and cook and decorate? I didn’t do it. Not any of it. All summer long I came home from work to my quiet apartment, sat on the couch with some KFC and watched television. Apparently, when I said that I wanted to do some stuff around the house, what I meant was that I really didn’t. But, when Melissa got back from Connecticut, we made a plan to each pick a day to make dinner. It’s so much easier to cook when you’re doing it for someone else, and how nice when someone else is cooking for you! We started this week. On Wednesday she made some good chicken tacos, and yesterday I make lasagna, something I’ve made many times before. I thought I’d better start with something I knew, and it turned out well, if I do say so myself. So now I’m starting to plan out what to make next week and the next. This is going to be a good little tradition for us, and I’m happy about it.

That’s it. Thanks, as always, for being a bright and shiny light in my life.
You are loved.

A Random Friday

2010-09-10T13:19:00.000-07:00

Hello all. I’ve been thinking all week that I need to post something because it’s been some time, but what to write? I don’t know. There simply isn’t much going on right now. So maybe just some random thoughts? Ok.

55 degrees is the perfect temperature for a good walk.
Try as I do to make good salsa, it’s never like Marla’s.
Marla should make sure that I have salsa available to me at all times.
There’s no fry sauce in the states of Minnesota or North Dakota.
I’ve wondered if I could bottle fry sauce and start a trend there, and make a load of cash.
Its pay day today, and for one glorious minute I felt like I had some money.
I kind of wish that everyone was British. They seem so smart.
VH1 has been running a program called “The 100 Greatest Artists of All Time” that Melissa and I have been greatly enjoying.
I really love that Van Halen and Def Leppard were listed. I was so in to them in high school.
We were rockers at my high school.
Aaron and Barry once did a recording of Ozzy Osborne’s song “Crazy Train” with some friends, and it was shockingly similar to the real thing.
I’d pay money to have a copy of that now.
I’m troubled by all of the anti-Muslim sentiment going around the country.
The mosque in New York should be built and everyone should be nice about it.
The Koran burner in Florida should be slapped.
Sierra did a good blog post on the matter.
I’m troubled by all of the hostility surrounding a lot of issues.
At the same time, I think most controversies wouldn’t be controversies if the news didn’t spotlight them.
I watched Wipeout yesterday – still awesome.
I think I’ve finally found a happy balance between still hoping for some of the things I’m missing (like a handsome man) but not obsessing over them. I’m just living my life. It’s a huge relief.
It sounds cliché, but there is beauty in letting go.
That’s harder to do than one might expect.
I cannot believe that the holidays are looming around the corner.
At the same time, I sure love fall.
Fried shrimp is good.
Fax machines blow my mind.
Really, how is it possible that you can put a piece of paper through a machine and an exact copy of that paper shows up on a machine in Japan? That just shouldn’t work.
I highly recommend seeing “Inception”.
I only kind of recommend “The Switch”.
I also highly recommend doing yoga, if you feel so inclined.
But really, go see my sister and ask her for some salsa.
You are loved.

A Week in Review August 27

2010-08-27T14:39:00.000-07:00

Hello! I'm adding the date in this week's header so that you'll know that this is a new entry, and not the same week in review that's been here for two weeks now. Where have I been? I don't know, but let's do A Week in Review

Osmond Mania
I’ve had a story to tell for more than a week and am just now getting to it! The Osmonds were at my store Saturday the 14th for a signing. No, not Donny and Marie, Jay and Wayne, who have both written books. And David Osmond came with them; he’s someone’s son (we still don’t know whose), and he’s recorded a new cd. My friend MH (initials) thinks that David is “dishy”, and I suppose she’s right.

The celebrities were scheduled to arrive at noon. Women started lining up at 10, right when we opened. I’ve seen these women before – in fact it was the last time we had Osmonds at the store. They stake their claims first in line, and then give instructions on how an Osmond event should be handled. You might think, at first, that they’re the group’s managers or at least family or friends, but who they really are are over-aged, crazed fans that’ve followed the Osmonds around since 1972, and that’s way too long. One woman actually brought photos of herself at other signings to share with Jay and Wayne. Another talked to our manager about a “gt” she’d just been to with Donny in Las Vegas. He didn’t know what a “gt” was. It’s a get together, of course. Oh yes, of course. He didn’t mention the fact that you have to buy tickets to those. She didn’t get a personal invitation.

By about 12:30 we had a group of 15-20 women swarming the table, and they stayed put for the full two hours. Really. It was nice to have people there (it’s always awkward when an artist comes in for a signing and then sits there with no one to talk to), but the same group for two hours? How crazy is that? Even after the Osmonds left they stayed – basking in the glow, I guess.

MH told me that morning that the cooperate office wanted us to take good care of David Osmond, and since she is in charge of these signings, she felt responsible for making his stay a pleasant one. She even made him a gift basket. I was working the back register while the celebrities and fans mingled, and she came back to tell me a story that started with, “So, I was feeding David Osmond a roll…”

“What?!” Followed by loud laughter for several minutes.

“No, I mean I was bringing him a roll.”

Still laughing, ten days later.

But it was a weird day. I wouldn’t have blamed her if she had started feeding him a roll. She would have fit right in with the crowd. By 2:00 we were all feeling a little weird and pretty creeped out. We just walked around in a daze wondering what kind of parallel universe, where the Osmonds are still super cool, we’d fallen in to. It was weird, and creepy. It’s a strange thing, celebrity. It makes people act in all kinds of strange ways, and I don’t really know why.

An Event of Another Kind
We had our annual summer social with the COB on Wednesday. It was very nice. MH (of roll-feeding fame) went with me. I tempted her with the opportunity to meet Elder Holland. There is a member of the Twelve responsible for every division of the COB, and Elder Holland is ours, and I’m very glad. We had dinner, and some entertainment from a group called Blue Harmony that was quite good, and then Elder Holland spoke to us for about 30 minutes. He didn’t have anything written down; he just talked about missionary work and a little bit about his calling as an Apostle, and about all the work that there is still to be done. It’s hard now to retell it all, but he said some things about the natural tendency to feel like you’re not enough, and realizing the full potential our lives and this work, and about so often being surprised by it all. His words really touched my heart. I felt a much needed boost of confidence, and some motivation to do more. It’s good when those two things can come with a healthy balance. I do love Elder Holland.

Wipeout
Here’s something else I love, and it’s not connected to my previous story at all. There’s a tv show on ABC on Thursdays called Wipeout, and it’s my new guilty pleasure, only I don’t feel guilty about it, and instead of a pleasure it’s a gut-ripping laugh fest. You know how people falling down are always funny? Well this is falling down times 1000, and it’s ok to laugh because they volunteered! And they know that a wipeout is coming their way. The commentators are good, too. It’s a full hour of no-brain laughter, and I’m using it as my weekly therapy treatment. Here’s a clip if you’re interested.

I think that’s it for this week. Thanks, as always, for being my other form of therapy.

You are loved.

A Week in Review

2010-08-13T13:21:00.000-07:00

Hello! I just got back from a lovely walk and then ate fried shrimp. Tasty. I wonder, though, what the balance is between the goodness of walking and the badness of fried shrimp? Let’s just put an important life lesson into play – take the good from any situation and be happy. Let’s do a Week in Review.

She’s Back
Melissa returned from Connecticut on Wednesday, and it’s been nice to have a roommate again. I will admit, it might be hard at times to remember that there is another person in the house. For example, when I’m getting dressed in the morning and need clothes that are still in the dryer, I’ll now have to get dressed before going to the laundry room, and then get dressed again for real. That’s an inconvenience, but worth the trouble to have a friend back.

I’ve had a heart-to-heart with my imaginary friends who have kept me company this summer. They feel displaced, and I understand that. I want them to know how much their support has meant to me while I’ve sat alone, watching tv, playing minesweeper and cursing the smokers who live upstairs. I couldn’t have gotten through it without them. But, now that Melissa is back, we have to be careful about how we interact because me wandering around the apartment talking to what appears to be no one might freak her out. So, the imaginary friends are relearning their appropriate boundaries, and I’m trying not to say, “Oh Chandler, could you BE any funnier?” and “Joey get out of my peanut butter!” out loud anymore. You know, now that I think about it, my imaginary friends look a lot like the cast of Friends. Huh.

Stupid Evil Fairy
I owe Kent an apology. He was my top pick on So You Think You Can Dance this season, a cute, cute farm boy from small town Ohio who melted my heart every time he got on stage. I was so sure he’d win. He had the tween vote! Don’t the tweens rule the world? But, Kent took second place to Lauren.

Before watching the show I was thinking about the fact that none of my favorites have ever won. They’ve come close, like Kent did, but haven’t taken the grand prize. Strange. And then I remembered the curse that the evil fairy gave me when I was born. I used to think, like I once told Tiffany, that the curse was limited to making sure that I never win a drawing, but now I have to wonder if it doesn’t also mess with my favorites winning, too. You know how the story goes – the fairies in the land gather together to bless the new baby. I got beauty, wit, a gorgeous singing voice, and then that crazy old bat stepped up and said, “none of your favorites will ever win a competition”. Nice. I don’t see why she had to drag others down with me. So, I should send an apology to Kent. I am sorry.

To be fair, I’ll also say that Lauren is a great, great dancer, and deserved the win as much as anyone.

Civility
I heard a clip of Dr. Laura ranting on the radio this morning and was horrified. You’ve probably seen the story in the news, if not then here’s a report. I don’t want to dwell too much on Dr. Laura’s story, per say, but instead on the death of general civility. Just this week we’ve had the flight attendant who used the escape slide to get away from a cursing passenger (the escape slide, that’s awesome), and now this Dr. Laura thing. It’s ridiculous. What makes people think that they are right to treat others with such disrespect? It takes a self-importance that I really don’t understand. Heck, I see it all day at the bookstore. People will cut in line or interrupt a conversation because they have “just a quick question”. Whatever. Wait your turn.

I tend to believe that those who are rude continue to do it because they can get away with it, and at times are even rewarded for it. Most people will back down to a monster just to avoid the confrontation. And I know that from a retail perspective that store associates are told to make the customer happy, or, in other words, give them what they want. Parents used to teach their children that they won’t get their way by throwing a fit, but our adult society quickly convinces one of just the opposite. It’s very sad, and I refuse to join the crowd. I’m not a perfect model of politeness, but recent events are making me recommit to doing my best. It’s a loud, obnoxious world. Let mine be one of the quieter voices.

Thanks, as always, for giving me some attention.
You are loved.

A Week in Review

2010-08-06T12:33:00.001-07:00

So how’s summer time treating you? Alright? Is the tan all you were hoping it would be? I have a significant farmer’s tan going – round neck line and definite sleeves. Nice. If I’d thought about it earlier I would have taken a picture for you. Remind me to show it off when we see each other again. For now, let’s do A Week in Review.

Summer's End
You know how some people would love to live in a place where it’s 75 degrees year round? I’m not one of those people. I really like the change in seasons. And now that it’s August and we’re heading toward fall, I find myself really looking forward to it. This morning I wanted to eat a pumpkin cookie, and while walking through the park I thought about the leaves changing and the air cooling off. Mmmm, I love that.

Fall makes me want to buy new clothes, too. I think it’s all those years of back-to-school shopping. I still think that I need everything new in September, including notebooks, and of course makeup. The cosmetics companies are sending me emails with their new fall colors, tempting. A new season is right around the corner.

Lessons Learned
Speaking of going back to school, the school of life has taught me a lesson in self improvement this week. Back in January a coworker of mine came down with a strep infection that spread to major organs in his body, and embedded into the bones in his lower back. He was very, very sick, in the hospital for weeks, and then home on medical leave for months.

After the first couple of months passed, some of us started to doubt that he’d ever come back to work. He’s in his 60s, and has talked about retiring for years. This seemed like the perfect opportunity. I was just waiting for the day when we got the official word that he was done. Then I started to get frustrated with the fact that we were all having to cover his work while he was gone. And then I started to wonder out loud to friends just what his secret and devious plan might be? Why is he holding on to this job when we all know that he’s not coming back? I got caught up in speculation and ran wild with it, adding some pessimistic, almost accusatory, feeling.

And then, last week, we were told that he had gotten clearance from his doctors to come back to work. He was in the office on Monday and has been here all week. When I saw him on Monday, all those bad feeling went away, and I knew how wrong I had been. It was good to see him. We talked a bit about his illness. It was awful for him. He thanked me many times for covering different jobs while was gone. He told me how much he had missed this place, and that he had wanted to come back months ago. Being an invalid was making him crazy. I told him jokingly that we were all placing bets on whether or not we’d ever see him again, but I was secretly embarrassed about the attitude I harbored all of that time. Why didn’t I trust his good intentions? Why not give people the benefit of the doubt?

I thought, too, about the negative feelings I had while speculating, and about other times when I’ve felt the same way – all tense and bugged – and I finally learned that those feelings tell me that I’m on the wrong track. Either what I’m thinking or doing is wrong, or I’m losing patience when I need to hold on to it. It’s a lesson learned, and I hope that I’m mature enough to change my ways. Give people the benefit of the doubt, and trust your gut. Things work better that way.

I think that’s it for now. I hope you’re all happy and healthy. Thanks, as always, for your constant care.
You are loved.

A Week in Review

2010-07-30T13:09:00.000-07:00

Hello All. What if we try to resurrect the weekly feature “A Week in Review”? I’m feeling up to the challenge. Let’s give it a try.

The Rest of the Trip
It’s been a strange week because half was spent in MN, and the other half here at home. Actually, they’re both home. I used to feel so torn between the two, like I had to pick one and give it my whole heart. I’ve decided not to pick one. I love them both for what they are, and will enjoy both for the rest of my life.

The reunion was Saturday. On Sunday the siblings who were in town, my parents and I all went to church at the old building where we went every week growing up. It’s much smaller than I remember, but otherwise the same. Isn’t it strange, isn't it, that you can be away from a place for years, and then go back and it’s all so familiar. Sitting in that chapel with my parents felt as comfortable as it would have if I’d been there every Sunday all along.

After church we had dinner at Mom and Dad’s - roast and potatoes, the perfect Sunday meal. Barry, Shane, Courtney and their families were there, which added up to about twenty people. Mom wondered for days just how she was going to feed such a crowd! She did well. Then we took an afternoon walk, as is our custom, ate ice cream and were sublimely lazy for the rest of the afternoon.

Monday we took Court’s family (Barry’s and Shane’s had left for home) to the zoo. They had a great wolf exhibit. Do you call zoo animals exhibits? Habitats? I guess I don’t know. Maybe someone could get back to me on that. We stood in a small cabin-like building with large windows that looked out over a grassy hill where the wolves were roaming. They’re gorgeous, but a little frightening at the same time. Something about them feels dangerous even when you’re just looking at them through glass. I bet Little Red Riding Hood needed some serious therapy after finding that one at grandma’s house.

Courtney and family left Monday evening, so it was just my parents and I my last night. We watched “Roman Holiday” with Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck, who, by the way, was a very handsome man. I went to bed about midnight.

At 1:30 mom was shaking me awake and saying something about tornado sirens, and that I should come downstairs. We sat in the living room watching weather reports. There were huge black clouds swirling over the city. A town some distance away reported that one funnel had touched ground. In the end we didn’t get a tornado, thank heaven, but we did get a fierce thunderstorm. I had hoped for a real rain storm while there, and I certainly got my wish. The thunder and lightening were fantastic.

I flew back to Salt Lake on Tuesday. Again – I felt torn. After a week on vacation I’m usually ready to get back to my bedroom and bathroom, and to work and a normal schedule, but I never like saying goodbye to my parents. And as the plane flew over the beautiful green patchwork of farms and fields I felt homesick. But then when we landed I took a good look at the mountains and realized that I had missed them. And thus my decision to love both of my homes equally and without prejudice. Two homes are better than one.

Dragon Tattoo
No, I didn’t get one, I’m reading the book. In the airport and on the plane I saw “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” everywhere! And then my aunt Janet highly recommended it, so I decided to give it a try. I’m only 20 pages in, but it’s starting out well. I very rarely read crime/mystery novels. It’ll be a good change of pace. I'll let you know what

Lets end with a few more pictures.

Noah and Matthew

Jake and Jonny

Michael, king of the tower

Mariah, Sierra, Josie and Jake in the parents living room

Spencer rolling out a mean game of Yatzee.

Thanks, as always, for keeping me in mind.

You are loved.

Reunion

2010-07-28T14:07:00.000-07:00

Hello! I'm back from the land of 10,000 lakes. We had a family reunion on Saturday the 24th at my cousin Lori's house just outside of a little town in MN, right on one of those lakes. We had so, so much fun. Here are the highlights.

Some of the cousins hired a band that specialized in older music, the kind my dad and his siblings would remember. They were also great for letting the more talented family members get up and join them. Here are my dad and brother, Aaron, singing a duet.

I almost teared up watching them. It's been years since I've heard them sing together. That alone would have made the whole day. But that wasn't all - there was also dancing! Dad and I did a Tennessee Waltz. Yes, we know how to do that.

Here's Sierra and family out on the dock. Yes, she's making the loser sign at me. She did apologize, and I said it was ok. What she doesn't know is that I WAS going to will her some pretty good stuff when I die, including an extensive collection of lip gloss. Too bad for Sierra.
There is, at every reunion, this poster of all the cousins' high school graduation pictures, along with our full names and birth date. The camera flash took out my picture, and that's ok. I don't really need my own picture. Loving the cousins' pictures, though.

Family out on the lake. Give a child somewhere to swim, and you've entertained him for a full day.

Of course each family had to pose for a picture. Here's mine. Back row - Barry, Courtney, Shane, Aaron, and then Mom, me, and Dad. Unfortunately Marla couldn't be there. Her family had other stuff going on at the same time. Maybe I'll find a way to cut her out of another picture and paste her into this one...? Then it will be complete.

Later in the afternoon we took a bus tour! Lori's place is close to the farm where dad and his siblings grew up, so we took a tour of their old stomping grounds, including my grandparents dairy farm. The family doesn't own the farm anymore, but the people who live there now are pretty good about letting us invade their property and take pictures every few years. Here are dad and I on the bus.

We stopped at a few places along the way, and either Dad or one of his siblings told stories from their childhood. They grew up in a different world, and it's fascinating to hear them talk about it. I loved that.

Here's something else I love - my great-grandparents house. They came to Minnesota from Norway in the late 1800s and settle on a farm near Underwood, not far from Dad's home town. They raised 12 children, the youngest being our Grandpa Olaf. A few years ago, the house was moved from it's foundation onto a small historic park in Dalton. It's all set up like an actual historic site! Isn't that great? The house wasn't open on the day we were there, but we did take lots of pictures on porch. Here are Dad and his siblings.
Those are the highlights of a wonderful day. It was the kind of day that made me smile for days after. I keep thinking back on it and saying, "Wow, that was so much fun." It's a great family, and a great place, to be a part of.

One last picture, look how pretty my niece Amalia Grace is. So pretty.

On Vacation

2010-07-19T15:00:00.000-07:00

I'd like to open with quote from dear Sierra, "What up suckas?" I'll tell you what's up. I'm leaving for Minnesota TOMORROW! It's very exciting. I'll share a report and some pictures when I'm back. Here's one picture to hold your interest until then.

Angie out.

A Trip to the Burg

2010-07-12T08:05:00.001-07:00

Last Friday Mariah, Savannah and I took a road trip to Rexburg to visit Sierra. The back story to this is long and complicated, and I think that I'll go ahead and bore you with it. About a month ago Savannah, Melody and I were talking about our upcoming trip to Minnesota. At the time I was seriously considering driving, and asked Savannah if she wanted to go with me. We both really like road trips. She said that she would go with me, but after a few more days of consideration I decided to get a plane ticket instead. The drive is fun, but I would have spent more time on the road than in Minnesota with my parents, and it would have been expensive.

A few weeks later I was having dinner with the family, and Savannah said to me, "When are we leaving for Minnesota?"

"What?"

"You know, when are we going on our trip?"

"Were you really planning on that? I'm sorry, I bought a plane ticket."

Melody dropped her head into her hands, and Barry told me that they bought tickets for their trip, but didn't get one for Savannah because she was going with me. Collective panic.

I apologized to Savannah over and over again, and said that I honestly didn't know that anyone thought that that was a definite plan. I felt so stupid. Barry got online and fortunately was able to get Savannah a ticket to travel with them without any trouble.

The next day I was still feeling bad about the whole debacle. I sent Savannah a little message, "I owe you a road trip. What if we go see Sierra next week?" She said yes; Mariah jumped on board, and plans were made. The girls wanted to stay for the whole weekend, so Melody agreed to go get them again today, Monday. So much fun! Sierra was very excited, and I was glad to have a happy ending to our story.

We drove up on Friday. Side note - Do you know what makes Angie cuss? Road construction. HONESTLY! Why does a summer road trip have to include an hour of going 20 miles an hour in a long string of cars that's been brought down to one lane for no apparent reason? If I end up in hell, it will be an eternity of road construction.

Back to the story. We got to Rexburg about 2:00, met up with Sierra, got big hugs, saw her apartment, went to lunch at Wingers, and then walked around campus. I went to school there back when it was Ricks, and really liked seeing the campus again. It's grown! But the old buildings and sidewalks brought back memories. And it was fun to see Sierra in her college element. She's always fun.

Here are some pictures

A storm was blowing in about the time I was leaving, and the dark clouds behind the Rexburg temple made a beautiful picture.

It was a really good day. I made the drive back on my own, having left the girls in Rexburg. There's something so calming and therapeutic about being out on the road, enjoying the quiet and solitude, taking in the views of the mountains and green fields; I loved it. The time went too fast.

Second story, shorter than the first. Marla's birthday was Friday. I had last Monday off, so we went up to Park City with little William and did some shopping, then had dinner. It's always fun to have a sister's day out. I don't have to say again how much I love my sister, and cute William (look how cute).

Family Pictures

2010-07-08T08:49:00.000-07:00

We're having a big family reunion in Minnesota on July 24, and in preparation my cousins have set up a "Descendants of Olaf and Corinne" page on Facebook. They've started posting pictures, and that's were I found these great, great photos. I'm so excited to have them. Here is Dad's family.

Olaf and Corinne with my dad, Owen (standing), and Blaine

Dad and his siblings, Blaine, Lois, Janet, Will and Alan. Three more would come later - Diane, Donna and Joan.

What a treasure.

A Week in Review

2010-07-02T15:29:00.000-07:00

Hello All. I’m going to do a short post today, mostly because I don’t have much to talk about. Why write then? I don’t know; I just feel like it. Here’s a Week in Review.

All Alone
Melissa went to Connecticut for the summer (her sister lives there) so I have the apartment to myself. My feelings about this waver between sweet bliss and super boredom. Sometimes you want someone to talk to! My summer home improvement projects have gotten off to a slow start, or no start at all. I still need to get some plants for the deck, make fresh salsa, and buy some pretty pillows for the couch. I’m still determined to do it. Just needed some down time first, I guess.

The 4th of July
I hate to admit that I don’t have any plans for the 4th. I’m an unpatriotic looser. I did vote for President Obama, so in the opinion of all those angry men who like to yell into the radio and carry on on television, I am as unpatriotic as they come. Maybe that’s why no plans…or maybe I just haven’t thought about it yet. I’m going to Minnesota the end of the month, so most of my focus has been on that.

When I think about it, though, I don’t know how I feel about patriotism. I love this country, and feel like living here is a great blessing. We have a fascinating history and a great standard of living, opportunities and privileges that many don’t. But, I’m not one of those “This is the greatest country in the whole world!” kind of people. It seems to me that there are a lot of other nations that do very well. I’ve been to a few. The people are happy and healthy. The streets are clean, and the sites are beautiful. So can you be patriotic and still think that others have it just as good? I’d like to think so. That seems healthier to me, like a healthy self-esteem – feel good about yourself, but draw the line at having to be better than everyone else. That’s my kind of patriotism.

It’s Gone
I sold the Honda for a few dollars to my niece Cortni and her husband. He’s very mechanical, and will be able to fix up the things that are wrong with it, and then drive it through the summer. I hope it works out well for them. They took it away last Monday. It’s the end of an era. Ironic – I bought that car from Cort’s parents, Aaron and Kristi. I hope Aaron doesn’t cuss too much when he sees it back again.

Something from Garrison
I was reading A Prairie Home Companion this morning and found this great paragraph:

My time is short and so is yours, so why not tell the truth: A person can get along very well in life without one bit of the mathematics and physics they rammed into our brains in high school. Fifty years later, and there hasn't been a single moment when I've thought, "Oh if only I could remember higher algebra!"

Ha! That’s awesome, and so true. Although, I will say that Barry remembers higher algebra, and has gotten his girls through high school with his knowledge. I, on the other hand, have no use for it. Garrison’s whole article is great. You can read it here.

I think that’s it for now. I need to get over to Marla’s for some quality time with William.
Happy 4th!
You are loved.

Some Thoughts on Thoughts

2010-06-28T14:27:00.000-07:00

I have literally at least 1500 letters to send out this week, but you know what I’m going to do instead? A blog post. I haven’t written anything for some time, and there’s no big hurry on those letters anyway.

I’ve been thinking. A few weeks ago we had a retirement social at the COB for a lady who has worked here for 20+ years. Her boss did the obligatory eulogy – people here like to call these socials “viewings” and refer to the talk as a “eulogy” because they are just that funny, and that old. While talking about the dearly departing, he said that he had never known her to have a bad day, to be grumpy or out of sorts, to say an angry word, blah, blah, blah. I thought to myself, “I don’t believe it.” And I still don’t. It’s not that I’ve had an encounter with this woman, I haven’t, it’s just that I know better than to think that anyone can get through 20 years at a job without a bad day. I haven’t gotten through the last 20 days without losing my cool. If a girl were to believe that her coworkers are models of perfection while she’s at her desk cursing under her breathe, she’d have the stuff of a huge guilt complex, and I don’t like huge guilt complexes. They get uncomfortable after a while.

But still, there is some honesty when a person gives that kind of praise. I think that at times of parting, or when a phase of our life is over and we look back on it, our minds automatically remember people with kindness. The bad stuff is cut out. That's a real blessing, isn't it? It's a wonderful ability we have.

Sometimes I think that the things I’ve put on this blog about my childhood on the farm are so idyllic, when the truth is that I whined about weeding the garden and hauling water and shelling peas and all of that work every day I had to do it. Farm life is difficult. Mom and Dad struggled against bad weather, sick calves, and poor crop and livestock prices just to make ends meet. It was hard. But now…now, while I’m still aware of the bad days, I think more about riding with Dad on the tractor, and following him while he used the tiller so that I could feel the cool, new dirt between my toes, and loving the smell of the air at night. It was so good, so that’s what I talk about. And besides, you don’t want to hear me still crying about having to pull weeds all day, 30 years later.

So the next time you’re in church, or Relief Society, or somewhere where a person is being praised for being a great mother, wife, coworker, friend, don’t compare that person to yourself and feel guilty. We’re all human. We all have our flaws. We’ve all said things we shouldn’t, and we’ve all had bad days. It’s just that the bad days don’t matter as much as the good, so they get erased from the brain over time. And really, no one is going to talk in sacrament meeting about all of the times her mother screamed her head off at her. That wouldn’t be appropriate.

A good part of life is choosing what to keep and what to throw away, including memories. Fortunately most of us choose the good.

In Crisis

2010-06-22T10:56:00.001-07:00

This is about my 100th blog look in as many hours. I think I need some therapy for this identity crisis, and I don't think that the crisis is over yet.

Father's Day

2010-06-18T14:19:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day to my dad! Thank you for reading to me, for the long talks out in the garden, for playing the guitar and singing, for letting me ride on your back like a horse, for thinking that I'm funny, for giving me good brothers and a sister, for marrying mom, and for quietly supporting me all of these years since I grew up. I love you.

Cousins

2010-06-17T12:13:00.001-07:00

This is me with my cousin Kari (on the right) circa 1975. She and I were born within three weeks of each other, and grew up playing together on our Grandpa Olaf's farm. Her family lived close to Grandpa, so when we weren't at his house then we were at hers. We loved to reenact Little House on the Prairie, or to ride her family's horses, slowly for my sake. They had many acres of wooded land in Ashby, MN, with a small lake to go ice skating on in the winter. Her older brothers and mine are close to the same age, too, so our two families meshed perfectly. The boys like to go out into the woods and play war games (more literally than our parents would have approved of had they known). I can't think of one childhood memory with that side of the family that doesn't include Kari and her family.

Last week Kari and her sisters, Lori and Brit, and their kids came to Salt Lake for a visit! It was wonderful and so surreal to have them here. My Minnesota and Utah worlds came crashing together - you may have heard the kaboom. Since growing up and leaving home we haven't had much time together, so I was almost surprised at how easy it was to hang out again. We told stories from our collective childhood together, and then got caught up on what we're all doing now. Sunday evening we were at Aaron's house, and then Monday they came downtown to have lunch and see Temple Square. I loved showing them where I work. That evening we went to their hotel so that the kids could use the pool, and the grown ups sat and talked some more. It's strange that we're the grown ups now. It doesn't seem that long ago that we were the ones told to go and play, code for "leave us alone for a while".

I really loved having them here, and I loved having a reminder of where I came from. I'm going back in July for a family reunion, and will see them all again. I'll take lots of pictures so that you can see the places I've been talking about. Just thinking about it make me smile.

A Week in Review

2010-06-04T13:22:00.000-07:00

Hi. It’s Friday. This was a short work week with the holiday Monday, so Friday came quickly. And I was very ill (I’ll spare you the details) Tuesday through Thursday, which leaves me now realizing that I don’t remember much of the week…? I know that people say that getting sick is a blessing because it gives you a greater appreciation for good health. I think that I’d be ok with never getting this again, and just having a general liking of good health.

Let’s do a week in review.

Trains, No Planes, and One Automobile
Melissa and I drove the beloved Ford Taurus to the Golden Spike National Site on Monday. It’s about 30 or 40 miles west of Brigham City, a pleasant and easy drive. The site is the place where, in 1869, the construction of the Central Pacific railroad coming from California and the Union Pacific railroad coming from Iowa met. The last spike was driven here, finishing the first transcontinental railroad line. They had a ceremony highlighted by the placing of The Golden Spike. I kind of thought that, at the original ceremony, they drove a real golden spike into the rail tile and left it there, but they didn’t. The golden spike was ornamental, symbolic, and not to be driven with a huge sledge hammer into a wood tile. Only real spikes are in the tiles. I suppose that makes more sense.

Anyway, there was a reenactment of the ceremony, and then a demonstration on how the locomotives worked (they always said “locomotive” in the demonstration, not train). There were two things that I found very interesting. When the last spike was driven (again, not an actual golden spike), a telegraph message saying “DONE” went out to cities all over the country, and those cities held huge celebrations – fireworks, cannons, all kinds of tom foolery. When you think about it, having a transcontinental railway was a huge achievement for the country and well worth the attention.

The second interesting thing we learned was that the locomotives were powered by steam (I kind of knew that before). Water was held in a 2,000 gallon tank that went along the back part of the engine, and then they burned either wood or coal to create the steam. I don’t really know how to accurately describe how much wood they stocked up. They said that it was 5 cords, but really what does that mean to the average person? I’d say the pile was about 4 feet high 20 feet wide and 40 feet long - pretty big. That much would and water created enough steam to power the engine – for 30 miles. 2,000 gallons of water got them 30 miles. I couldn’t believe it! Burning coal instead of wood got them about 100 miles because coal burns more efficiently. I think that trains then went about 30 miles an hour, which meant that once an hour they had to stop for more water and wood. Geesh ,that sounds like a lot of work. But still, traveling by train would have been easier for people than walking along side a wagon or pulling a handcart across the plains. And the break gave them a chance to use the bathroom and get a big gulp at the local 7-Eleven.

Here are some photos.

Guernsey
I’m reading a novel called the "Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society", and I love it! What a good book. It’s set on the island of Guernsey in the Channel Islands between England and France in 1946. The whole story is written in letters to and from the different characters. It’s lighthearted and fun, and yet there are sad pieces when the people are remembering their lives during the War. The sadness is real, but it’s not so heavy that it weighs down the whole book. There's a good balance of depth and humor. I highly recommend it.

I think that's it for today. Thanks, as always, for keeping in touch.

You are loved.

A Week in Review

2010-05-28T13:57:00.001-07:00

Hello All! How are you? Ready for the coming Memorial Day weekend? I know I am. I work at the store tomorrow, but then I have the holiday off. Let’s commemorate with A Week in Review.

Mr. Jones
Jonah has always been required to give me a good hug when we see each other. All of the kids are under the same obligation. Honestly, it’s the least they can do. But Jonah seems to have it in his head that he has to give hugs because he’s the youngest. A few years ago, when Marla was pregnant with William, I was at their house, and getting my hug, and then he said, “When they baby comes then you’ll hug it instead of me and then I’ll be happy!” like he could not wait for that great day of deliverance. Free at last!

I tried to tell him then that it wouldn’t change anything. The baby would be tiny, and would need tiny hugs. Jonah’s job was to give the big, squeezing hugs.

Last Sunday I was at their house again, and again asked Jonah for a quality hug. He protested at first, but after a few minutes he came running over, “OK, here’s your quality hug” (he really said ‘quality’) and then William ran up and grabbed me around the knees, too.

Jonah said, “When does this move from me to William?”

“Well, Zac still hugs me, so probably never.” Zac is 15 now, and really does give nice hugs.

See, he must think that hugging is the responsibility of the youngest child, and now that he’s not the youngest, he’s ready to pass that job on to the baby. I hate to crush his hopes, but he’s not getting off the hook that easily. That kid is going to have to hug me at his college graduation.

Maybe I’m too demanding and should just leave them all alone? I sometimes wonder…? But then again, I kind of think he’d miss the attention. I know I would.

Road Trip
I am planning to drive to Minnesota this summer! There’s a huge family reunion the end of July – lots of pale Minnesotans with funny accents, knee shorts and sandals with socks – to keep the mosquitoes off of the ankles, of course. On the last several back I’ve flown, so this time I really think it will be fun to road trip. I’ll probably go by myself. My siblings are coming to the reunion, but can’t take as much time off as I am planning to. But a long drive alone with some good music and Diet Coke and great scenery sounds so relaxing, almost therapeutic. And I have a nice car now. I’m getting all tingly just thinking about it. There are a lot of beautiful spots along the way. If I really do this, then I’ll take lots of pictures and create a blog journal of the trip. Would you like that? North Dakota has the world’s largest Holstein cow…? Of course you’d like that.

Season Wrap Up
It’s the end of May, which means that all of my TV shows have wrapped it up for the summer. Only Glee is still running. I’m kind of glad that they’re gone for a while. I tend to think of watching TV as a colossal waste of time. I still do it, of course, but it is a waste of time. Now that I don’t have the temptation I’m hoping to do more productive things – evening walks, reading, writing, learning how to cook again. It’ll be nice. And Marla’s pool will be open. I’ve told her that I’ll be over most evenings. She doesn’t have to talk to me, or even acknowledge my presence. I’ll just walk through the house into the backyard and jump in the pool. Nice. Maybe I’ll leave her some tip money on the counter? Or I’ll take the kids with me and give her some alone time. There’s a way to make this a win-win.

Novels
Lately I’ve been reading a lot of non-fiction, John Adams by McCullough for one. I’ve liked all of it, but over the last couple of days I’ve really wanted a good novel. I miss them! Almost with a physical pain. So as soon as John and I wrap it up, I’m going to read a bunch of fiction. Yay, it’s so exciting! I’ll let you know what I’m reading and what I think of it, if you’re interested. There’s no reason why this can’t be fun for us all.

Cards and Letters
I’ve been writing letters lately, and sending cards to loved ones. In this age of electronic everything, I honestly worry that the art of letter writing will be lost, and that will be sad. It’s nice putting a pen to paper and talking to someone. It feels more personal. I’ve been trying to write to my parents once a week, and every now and then I send a card to Sierra at school. My dad writes to me, and I love it. Getting something in the mail is so much fun. I hope they think so, too.

I guess that’s enough for today. Thanks, as always, for taking the time.
You are loved.

Not a Good Day for Me

2010-05-25T09:09:00.001-07:00

PMS makes me want three things:

1 - To scream at anyone who talks to me. "DID YOU JUST SAY SOMETHING?! WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME? I AM SO NOT IN THE MOOD FOR THIS. YOU CAN TAKE YOUR 'GOOD MORNINGS' AND STICK THEM WHERE..." Those who don't speak still get a dirty look just for existing. They should know better.

2 - To eat and eat and eat and eat and eat, the saltier and greasier the better.

3 - To sleep for hours. If I could get into bed right now and stay there until this is over it would be a better world for everyone. Really - for everyone.

A Week in Review

2010-05-21T10:07:00.001-07:00

Hello! I have not put anything here for two weeks now, and I suppose it’s time to write something. Blogspot.com is going to put my blog on an inactive status. There’s not a lot to talk about today, but lets still try to do a Week in Review.

Walking
It’s been a nice spring – kind of wet and cooler temperatures, but I really like cooler temperatures. Yesterday I took my camera with me on a walk up City Creek Canyon. Everything’s so green and pretty, and there are some wild lilac bushes that look and smell gorgeous. Here are a few pictures.

And one of the creek. With the runoff from the mountain, the water is really gushing.

The canyon is one of my favorite spots in the whole valley.

Domesticity
I've been thinking lately about homemaking. Does that sound strange, thinking about homemaking? Just the word homemaking makes me think of being 16 and sitting in Laurels class on Sundays. I have some friends who are very good at it. There's Nicole, for example, who has been sewing like a fiend, and who has created a lovely yard. And my sister is great in the kitchen and the garden. She's taken so much of what Mom taught us and put it to good use. I really admire that.

Mom did teach me every skill that a domesticated woman needs. She's a wonder. She can do EVERYTHING - cooking, baking, sewing, gardening, canning, freezing, cleaning, laundry. She even made my sister and I rag dolls, really cute rag dolls with embroidered faces. I had Jack and Jill dolls with blue eyes and blond hair. When Marla came from Korea Mom made her a doll with dark eyes and hair. The hair was yarn and divided into thick braids. I loved playing with that hair.

I remember being very little and sitting underneath Mom's sewing table while she worked. I liked to watch her foot work the buttons that made the machine stop and go. There was a little lever on the machine, at the back of the needle, that would flip up the foot that held the material in place. She'd flip that up, pull the material out, cut the string on a hook above the foot all in one swift move. Fascinating.

If I were to make a list now of how I use all she taught me it would be pretty short. I can clean; I'm good at that, and I do laundry pretty well. And....that's about it. One summer a couple of years ago I tried to grow a tomato plant in a huge pot on the deck, but it didn't work. I don't think the deck gets enough sunlight. I wonder now, if I had a real garden, if I'd be able to keep up with it? Probably not, so, so much work.

The thing is, I've always had visions of being a powerhouse homemaker, one to match my mom, but without all the sewing. But, like so many other things I thought I'd do, I put it off until I had a family to do all this for. There's not much motivation to cook for one. Living in an apartment doesn't give a lot of garden/yard opportunities. And, I've always had roommates who've had a lot of stuff. We've melded all of our appliances and furniture into one eclectic mismatch. I've never chosen a decor style of my own, or decided what to do with different rooms. And besides, when you work 50 hours a week where's the time?

I'm feeling now, though, like I'd like to give homemaking a try. Something in me is missing what I grew up with and wishing for what my friends and family have. I really think that working in a home, rather than just using it as a place to sleep and watch tv, makes it feel like the sanctuary it's suppose to be, makes it feel like your own space. So, this summer, I'm going to make small steps, starting with cracking open some of the many, many cookbooks I've bought over the years (all with such great intentions) and cook some meals. And I'm going to put flowers out on the deck. Maybe I'll even buy some pillows for the couch - but let's not get carried away. I can't do everything at once. It's going to be a quiet, homey summer, and I'm looking forward to it.

This all brings up a theme that's been running through my mind for some time now - stop waiting and just live your life as it is right now. Don't we all have things we're going to do when...? What if "when" never comes? Pick things you can do and do them. Life will be happier that way.

I think that's all for now. Thanks, as always, for your kind attention, and for ignoring my typos.

You are loved.

A Random Friday

2010-05-07T13:08:00.000-07:00

I just ate some frozen yogurt and now I’m really cold.

It’s beautiful outside today. I took a walk up City Creek Canyon, and the trees were in bloom, tulips everywhere, gorgeous.

I have to say, though, that I have a love/hate relationship with spring. It’s lovely, but my itchy allergy eyes are not. I’m so stuffed up.

Love the new car. It’s really great. It’s bigger than the Honda, so I’m still learning how to park it. I like to make sure that there are three empty spaces on either side of me before going for a spot.

Bigger cars drive nice. They feel solid and smooth. I love it.

Speaking of smooth, once when I was in high school my youngest brother, Courtney, and I were at a fast food place. At the time, Dad had some goats on the family farm, and he was constantly telling us how healthy goats’ milk was, and that its taste was very smooth. We never fell for it. But, while having shakes at the restaurant, we decided to fill out a comment card (remember when there were comment cards at places?). It went something like this, “Our Dad raises goats. We’d like to suggest that you use goat’s milk in your shakes. It’s better for you than cows’ milk, and oh so smooth. Please call us at 555-GOAT.” I think we drew a tiny picture of a goat at the bottom. We laughed ourselves sick, and then put it in the comment box.

That’s still funny. Maybe you had to be there.

Those goats used to seriously creep me out. They have evil, beady little eyes.

Aaron and Barry used to call me goat. When Shane was a toddler he called me Nanny instead of Angie. They caught on to that and turned it into nanny goat, and then just goat.

I really didn’t plan to write a post about goats.

Did I already tell you that I love my car? I really do.

Melissa and I are going to see Iron Man 2 tonight. I’m so psyched.

How do you spell psyched?

Do people still say psyched, or am I looking old, again?

Anyway, the movie will be great.

I’m a Gwyneth Paltrow fan. I know, she has kind of a rep for being snooty, but then again so do I. There are times when I really don’t feel like talking to anyone, and if she feels way too, then I get it. Anyway, big fan ever since “Emma” came out in the mid 90s.

I still love the Coldplay, too. And now that I have a car with a good CD player and four working speakers, I can play the Coldplay really, really loud.

I watched The Marriage Ref last night because Gwyneth was on it, along with Jerry Seinfeld and some other guy I’ve never heard of. It was fun to watch, but still I think that’s a really weird show. Married couples with odd problems (like the husband is working on an act as a knife thrower and his wife doesn’t want to be the assistant who get knifes thrown at her) take their problems to the show, and then the celebrity panel discusses the issue and makes a call as to who wins the argument. Weird. Most of the time the panel is full of 5-time divorcees. Who’s going to listen to them?

Last night’s Community was one of the funniest episodes of any show I’ve seen in a really, really long time. Paint ball war at the community college, and the glee club got shot out of a tree. Nice.

I love the Glee, huge fan, but the jokes about it on Community were great.

I think that’s it. I should move on to some serious work.

Oh, I almost forgot, Happy Mothers' Day to all you moms. I'm sure that you're doing a really good job with your kids. I'm very sure.

Thanks, as always, for taking my side.
You are loved.

A Week in Review

2010-04-30T12:46:00.000-07:00

Hello All. It's Friday morning, and I'm feeling reflective. Let's do a Week in Review .

Again
In my ever-lasting quest for a page layout that really suits me, I’ve changed my blog again. I’m still not sure how I feel about this one. You know, the constant changing may give you the best picture of me – indecisive. I honestly can’t make up my mind.

David McCullough
Last night I went to an event called A Celebration of Family History in the Conference Center. There's been a family history conference going on in town this week with lots of people from all over the country attending. This event was a part of that conference, and it was fantastic. I lucked out getting tickets. A coworker had some that he wasn't going to use, so I grabbed them, not so much because of my interest in family history, but because I really love David McCullough. He is the writer of the books “John Adams” (later made into a great HBO mini-series), “1776”, “Truman”, “The Johnstown Flood”, and more.

He had so much to say, and I wish that I had a pen and paper with me, or could just get a transcript to share with you. I will try to tell one of his stories. McCullough was an English major, and after graduation he decided to try writing a book about a flood that wiped out the small town of Johnstown, PA. He'd never done historical research or writing before, and wasn't sure where to start, so he went the public library and asked for information on the flood. They referred him to a book called the Dictionary of Biographies. He sat down with that and got to work. And now he's an acclaimed, Pulitzer Prize winning historical writer. Fascinating. He said that he hasn’t known much about any of his topics before starting a project. He just dives in. I think that's so interesting. Too often I, maybe all of us, think we'd like to do something but feel so unqualified. What if Mr. McCullough had let that stop him? We shouldn't let it stop us, either, none of us.

The Car
I get my new car tomorrow. Mom and Marla have been on the road since Wednesday. It takes a while to drive from Minnesota. I'm excited, but I'm also having a hard time picturing myself in a new car. I've driven the Honda since October 1996. Some of you have gotten married, had children, finished school, and bought houses since then. Meanwhile, I've been here with my car. Dad told me to take the Honda to a junk yard and leave it, but I don't know that my heart can take that. I keep thinking that I'll keep it around and just drive it every now and then. Of course, that means keeping insurance on both cars, and that would be dumb. I'll probably be sensible and sell it to a junk yard for the parts, and then cry a little. Silly, it is just a car, no reason to be sentimental...

That's it for today - just a short review. Thanks, as always, for your continued alliance.
You are loved.

Springtime Downtown

2010-04-28T12:41:00.000-07:00

April is the best month to be downtown. The daffodils and tulips and trees are beautiful.

A Week in Review

2010-04-23T15:20:00.001-07:00

It’s been an extraordinary week – remarkable, life changing. Would you like to hear about it? I’ll tell you with A Week in Review.

Who Knew?
As most of you know, I have an old car. If it were a horse it would have been shot years ago. But because I can’t afford a car payment I’ve been piecing it back together every time it falls apart, and then giving it a reassuring pat on the dashboard and asking it to please keep going. The truth is – I am bad with money. I’m even worse with credit cards. There, I’ve said it. My name is Angie, and I am in debt. I have for years spent every dime I’ve made, and then charged the rest of what wanted until I had myself buried in such a hole that I could barely see the clouds in the sky. When I do see them they look pretty dark and foreboding. Thus my inability to buy a new car. The irony is that every time my poor Honda breaks down, I have to put the repairs on credit, which makes it even harder to get out of debt.

I’ve been very, very stressed about the whole situation for some time. I’ve thought about ways to make more money, even to the point of clicking on those dumb ads that are always along the side of Facebook and CNN news, “Mother earns $5,000 a week working from home!” I don’t think anyone is really making that much money posting Google ads online.

Anyway, I simply could not find a way out of my mess, not without intervention. Intervention from where I didn’t know, but I needed something, so I started praying for help. I didn’t have any idea where help could come from, I just asked for help.

A couple of weeks ago I sat down to figure out my taxes. I usually owe some money, but the last few years it hasn’t been much, so I wasn’t too worried. I got to the end of my federal form, did the final math on the calculator, and what? I owed $500. I left my desk to go cry in the bathroom, but was too shaken even to cry. So I went back to my desk, stared at the forms for awhile, and then my mom. Not to ask for money but because a girl needs her mom when she’s hurting. I told her what was going on, and then I cried, and apologized over and over again for being such a mess. She, with all of the compassion that a mother can give, she said that she and Dad would help me. I had mentioned to her before that I was having financial trouble, but never in any real detail. She told me that when they got into town (this was before they were here), they wanted to sit down and look at everything. All of the credit card balances, my income, everything, and we’d figure out a way to take care of it together. My first reaction was terrible guilt. My parents have worked very hard all of their lives, and are at an age now when they should be able to relax and enjoy what they’ve earned, not bail out their irresponsible daughter. I told her as much. She reassured me that this is just what parents do.

So when they were here I laid it all out on the table for them, literally, and my dad said, “You’re in trouble Angela”. Yes, indeed. We talked about ways that I could be more frugal. And then Dad said that it was time to start deriving my enjoyment not from frivolousness and spending, but from making progress toward a goal. I’ve thought about that over and over since, and I’m sure he’s right. Working toward improving my life will in the end feel much better than throwing money around ever did.

It’s unusual for me to be able to take instruction from my parents. I have acted like I’m about 15 years old since I was about 15 years old every time they’ve tried to critique what I’m doing, not very mature for someone who thinks of herself as a smart, independent adult. But this time I knew two things, that I was in no position to be stubborn, and that their council came from an honest concern for me, because they love me, because they’ re my parents. Maybe the fact that I don’t have children has handicapped my ability to appreciate what a parent feels when a daughter is unhappy? I’ve always been defensive when they’ve wanted to talk about things. But not this time, and it was good to be able to talk openly, and in the end it set me on a path that will help me take care of my debt.

This is getting to be a long story. Let’s skip ahead. While they were here, Dad spent some time working on my car, of course. The car always needs help. On Monday, after they were home, Dad called me and said, “Angela!” because that’s how he always addresses me on the phone. He said that he’d been thinking about my car and was convinced that it didn’t have much life left. He’d found a 2003 Ford Taurus for sale, not too many miles on it, and he wanted to buy it, drive it out to Utah and give it to me. WHAT?! I was seriously stunned speechless. I had no response. He was planning to take it for a test drive and then would call me back. I spent a few hours feeling dazed and confused, just sitting and staring at walls. He called again and said that the car was just like new. I asked them both if they were sure that they’re ok with this, and then I said ok. I’m getting a new car. My parents bought me a car. Actually, I’m looking at it more as me borrowing the car from them until I can buy one myself, and with my new financial plan I should be able to do that – someday. And then they will take this car back. But in the mean time, I get a new car.

I’ve talked to Mom again a few times since, and she told me that Dad’s worry about me driving my car was obviously weighing on him. He was quiet for days. And then he found this Taurus and devised a plan and was a happy man again. I still can’t believe that any of this is happening. I have some guilt over accepting something so huge from them. But I’m grateful, too, more grateful than I can say.

I’ve remembered many times, over the last couple of days, those prayers for help. I never expected that it would come from my parents. Who knew? But now it all makes sense. Who better? I think that after all of these years of being on my own and living so far away I just stopped thinking of them as a support system. Loveable parents, yes, but loving from a distance. When it came down to taking care of all of the day in day out work of running a life I felt entirely on my own, and too often all alone. That’s different now. I don’t feel alone anymore. I’m independent by nature, and stubborn about doing things my way, and I don’t expect that to change. But I’ve discovered a safety net, one that has probably always been there, in the form of two people who love me. It’s changed how I feel about my life, my whole existence, and it means more to me than the car.

Although I am pretty excited about the car.

Oh, and in the end I found a credit that shaved $400 off of my tax bill. What a relief.

I think that’s it for today. I’m not going to take the time to proof read this, so please forgive me for the mistakes. Maybe I’ll go back and catch them on Monday.

Thanks, as always, for reading my stories.
You are loved.

Look How Pretty

2010-04-19T08:42:00.001-07:00

You remember the girls? Any of you who have ever worked with me will remember lots of lengthy stories about Sierra, Mariah and Savannah, my nieces. In fact, some of you might right now be thinking, "The girls again, really?" even though you haven't heard me talk about them for years.

Here are Sierra and Mariah
Sierra loves nothing more than to do the self-taken picture, and she's very good at it.

And here's Savannah with her cousin Noah

The girls are growing up. Sierra just left for her next semester at BYU-Idaho. Mariah will soon finish her junior year of high school and Savannah her sophomore year. Where does the time go? I can't tell you. But I can tell you that with time they get better and better. They're growing into smart, kind, good people. And they're fun, still so much fun. And I still love them.

A Week in Review

2010-04-09T10:34:00.000-07:00

It’s Friday morning and I am struggling to stay awake. What a week. Would you like to hear about it? Ok, let’s do A Week in Review.

Inconsistency
I realize that I’ve been sporadic about the weekly post, or any other post, over the last few months, and I’m sorry for the frustration that’s caused my loyal fans… er, um, I mean friends who read this out of obligation. Our society has become one a public apology from someone on almost a daily basis. And while I’m sure this won’t make the local news, I’d still like to say that I’m sorry for the slow demise of A Week in Review. I’m not feeling it lately. I guess the weeks haven’t been interesting enough to write about. I’ve just been doing my thing – working and hanging out at home. Sometimes I see a movie. I like to have dinner with Barry, Melody and the girls on Sunday. I talk to Marla a lot on the phone… all a nice ways to spend my time, but not many stories there. And now I can’t think of anything more to say about not having much to say, so let’s move on.

MY MOM AND DAD ARE HERE!
They arrive this afternoon. I’m very excited to see them. There are lots of full family gatherings when they’re here, and I really love that. Dad is going to give my car a full physical tomorrow, hooray! I don’t know that we have any big plans for fun outings, but that’s ok. It’s just nice to have everyone together.

The West Wing
I’ve discovered a new/old tv show. Melissa rented the first season of the West Wing, and it’s awesome. So smart, and funny, and I’m amazed and thrilled by how brilliant these characters are from beginning to end. Why didn’t I watch this when it was on tv? Maybe I wasn’t home the nights it was on? Probably. Anyway, I’m happy to be watching it now, and I highly recommend it to anyone else who hasn’t seen it. So good.

Fabric Nightmare
It’s inventory time at the store. I went last night to help count Mormon Handicraft stuff – or in other words yard and yards of fabric. And we had to count the yards. Just saying “That’s one bolt of fabric” wasn’t enough. We had to count how many times the fabric wrapped around the bolt and multiply that by four to get a yardage count. It seemed easy at first, but after 4 hours of picking through the folds with a crochet hook and going so cross-eyed I couldn’t see, I was pretty much done with fabric for the rest of my life. There was, though, a great pattern with dogs driving cars that would make a lovely jumper. What a find! I might have to get my friend and sewing superstar Nicole on that…?

Unfortunate Fortune Cookies
Melissa’s birthday was March 31, a happy day for all. One of the many things I like about birthdays is that they cause me to think about the person and why I like him/her, and appreciate all that they mean to me. Melissa is a good and generous friend. We went with friends and some of her family to dinner at the PF Changs on Wednesday where we ate our fill of quality Chinese food. While opening the fortune cookies, her brother was joking about finding something not so fortunate there. He came up with quite a few. The ones I remember are “You have 48 hours left to live” and “The police are waiting for you outside”. That one about the police still makes me laugh. Can you imagine? One of you cleaver people should write up a whole series of unfortunate fortune cookies. I bet there’s a market for that out there somewhere.

I think that’s it for now. I’m going to paint eyeballs on my eyelids and see if I can get a nap in at work without anyone noticing.

Thanks, as always, for your consistent greatness.
You are loved.

Word on the Street

2010-03-29T12:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday evening I took cute Jonah and cute William for a walk. Jones likes to pretend that he's chasing William, so William grabbed my hand and we started to run. I heard Jonah laughing at us, and then he hollered, "William's pants and diaper fell down". Sure enough, his pants, which were a bit big around the waist, and diaper were down around his ankles. We had a bare-bottomed baby running down the street. What the heck? We got his pants back on and everything covered up again, but something about them falling once started a cycle of constant pants loss. Every ten steps the kid was streaking again! What do I do with this? Finally Jonah handed over his scooter (he likes to take his scooter on walks). William got on it and I pushed him home. It cut out the leg motion, so his pants stayed on, and we got home faster. Crisis managed. What a circus.

Today I went for a walk up city creek canyon and saw a car with a bumper sticker that read, "Free Tibet". My first thought - how on earth am I suppose to do that? I live in Salt Lake City. I have absolutely no pull when it comes to Chinese/Tibetan affairs. I suppose I could try to call China...? Nah, they wouldn't listen to me. That car owner is going to have to find someone else to free Tibet.

Another bumper sticker I saw today said, "I walk my dog and I vote". This one stumped me too. I don't really see how the two are connected? I suppose the point is that this person is going to support all pro-dog walking legislation as often as occasion arises. How often could that be? I don't know.

And then I saw a licence plate frame - "Girls who read never go to bed alone". So true. Lately I've been going to bed with John Adams. That might me more scandalous than the half naked baby running down the street.

And finally, on my way back to the COB I passed by a park that I used to bring the girls to when they were little. There's a wall that winds up a small hill, back and forth. They loved climbing on that thing, Mariah especially. Today I looked at it out of the corner of my eye and smiled. What sweet girls.

the end

A Week in Review

2010-03-26T12:18:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody! It's Friday afternoon, and my tummy is full of Navajo taco, and I'm thinking to myself, "I'm sleepy", and that it's time for A Week in Review.

Gaaaah!
I BOUGHT A NEW LAPTOP! And I'm totally freaked about it. Happy, excited, horrified because that's a lot of money. I've never spent so much money on one thing before. I was calm and collected while at the store yesterday, but this morning I had "I'VE GOT TO RETURN THAT AND GET MY MONEY BACK RIGHT NOW!" screaming through my head.

I'm not really going to return it. I love it. It's silver and pretty, and I will love being able to do some writing at home. That's really why I bought it. I have some writing projects in mind, and feel like it's time to seriously work on them.

I went to Best Buy for my computer, and would recommend them to others. The service was good. The people really knew what they were talking about, and there was no attempt to sell me more than I needed. I had spent a long time shopping online, so I was pretty much decided on a laptop before going to the store. I did fall for the warranty pitch. I have a tendency to drop things, so my laptop probably should be under warranty. There, talking about it calmed my nerves, and I'm happy again. I think that when I get home tonight I'll just hold it for a while. My pretty little laptop.

Who do you Think you Are?
There's a show on NBC by the above title, and I really like it! Each week a different star works with history/family history specialists to trace their ancestry. Ok, that didn't sound very interesting, but it really is! They travel to the places where their ancestors lived and go through courthouse documents, visit home towns, meet people who knew their grandparents and great-grandparents. Last week Lisa Kudrow went to a small village called Ilya in Easter Europe where her Jewish great-grandmother was killed during the Holocaust. Here's a clip. It's emotional, and Kudrow is so thoughtful in the things she says about her experience. In all of the stories I've seen so far, each person has said that learning about their family has changed how they see themselves for the better. I think that's true. What little bit I've learned about my family history makes me feel more grounded, like my roots go down deep. It's a great show, and I'm really looking forward to watching it again tonight. Kudoos to NBC.

My Parents are Coming!
Mom and Dad will be here the weekend of April 10th. That's always fun. I don't have much more to say on the subject, except that it'll be good to see them again.

Ok, I think that's it for this week. Thanks, as always, for the blogging friendship.
You are loved.

Please Submit All Questions in Writing. It's Easier to Ignore Them that Way.

2010-03-22T10:17:00.000-07:00

I have a pet peeve. It is that when there’s a treat out for sharing here at the COB, which is about every day, we are Mormons after all, people ask all sorts of questions before taking one. They include but are not limited to: “Who brought these in?” “What’s the occasion?” “Did you make them?” “Have all of the calories been taken out?” That last one is a lame attempt at humor, and the attempt is made way too often. My friend Teresa used to sit close to the counter where treats are usually laid out, and that poor girl couldn’t get anything else done with all of the questions to answer. For heaven’s sake. She has since moved to another department, so I’m closest to that desk now, and I can tell you that I absolutely do not want to have to deal with it.

I suppose the whole thing shouldn’t bug me so much, but it does, and I can't seem to make myself get over it, so I’ve put some plans into action to try to curb the annoyance. Sometimes Cheryl and I post a sign with answers to all conceivable questions. It doesn’t always work. People just think of more. I’ve thought of posting something that says, “JUST TAKE ONE AND GO!” but haven’t. That's a little too harsh.

Over the weekend I bought a big package of Oreos. OK, two packages. I like both the original and the Golden Oreos, and couldn’t decide which kind to go with. The logical solution was to buy both. I’m sure you understand. Of course, I can’t/shouldn’t eat all of those, so I decided to enjoy them through Sunday evening, and then bring the rest in to work. But that brings up the ever present problem of having to explain to all creation where the cookies came from and why. It almost made me just throw them away. What a sad, sad waste. I decided to be brave, and this morning arrived with cookies in hand.

They had to be placed in an area nowhere near me, and at a time when no one would see me putting them out. I could not be in any way connected to the cookies. This took planning and stealth. I found the perfect place, an empty desk some distance away from my own. But how to do I put them there without anyone seeing me? Devotional! We have a devotional every Monday morning that everyone goes to. Well, everyone but me because someone has to stay and answer the phones. Here was my opportunity. As soon as everyone left, I took my Oreos, put them on styrofoam plates, and took them to the open desk, keeping my eyes peeled for any stray devotional skippers. The coast was clear. I set the treats out, and got back to my desk. Whew!

I have heard comments this morning. Someone hollered to no one, “Who brought the cookies?” just to be ignored. One of the guys entertained the closest person he could find with fun facts from the Nabisco Company on the nutritional value of an Oreo. Should I feel bad about this, the ignored questions and someone else having to listen to nutritional information? Maybe, but I don’t. I don’t think that the others are as bugged by it all as I am, so no harm done. And I got rid of my treats without having to talk to about them all day long. Mission accomplished.

A Week in Review

2010-03-19T13:23:00.000-07:00

Hi. Remember when I used to post something on Friday that told you all about my week? I thought I’d do that again today. Here’s A Week in Review. You’re welcome.

Testing
In this section I will be talking all about how smart I am. I hope that you can endure it. But really, why keep a blog if you can’t do some self-congratulating every now and then? I, like many, like to point out what I've done and have it praised. It's the 4-year old in all of us. Anyway, I’ve been doing some part-time schooling through BYU independent study, and two weeks ago I finally took the final exam for my world civilizations class. Man that was hard. Here’s how it worked – the professor wanted two essays, one on a question from the second half of the class and another comprehensive essay. He gave us six questions to study for each essay, so 12 all together. Two questions per essay were on the test, and I was to choose one to write on. The expectation was that I’d spend 1 ½ hours writing each essay, and there was a three hour time limit. I couldn’t have any notes or books with me. So, in the end, I had to have enough information on 12 topics in my head to write about each one for more than an hour. That’s a lot of stuff to keep in your head.

I had made the mistake of letting too much time lapse between finishing my last assignments and getting ready for the final, so I had to review almost everything, and take notes, and then refine my notes until I had an outline that I could memorize. It really was a lot of work. I prayed about it, too, and I honestly believe that the prayers worked because while studying I felt more inclined toward some questions than others, and so I gave those more time and thought, and my brain wrapped around those topics. I felt like I understood the material well enough to repeat names and dates and then to add my own take on it, some thoughts and insights. And in the end those questions were on the test. I wrote for the full three hours, 24 pages, by hand. I like to tell people that, “Three hours and 24 pages!” It seems to impress.

My essays were on the origins of the Islamic nation, and how their historical development and religious beliefs play into what’s going on in the world today. The second was on the nomadic peoples of the ancient and medieval world and how they affected their societies. Did you know that the Hyksos were a group of people in Egypt who introduced bronze tools and weapons to the Egyptians? And they had chariots, and that’s how the Egyptians got chariots. This is significant because that scene in Charlton Heston’s movie “The Ten Commandments” where Pharaoh and his armies are chasing down Moses at the Red Sea would not have been near as good without the chariots. Can you imagine? I can’t. We have the Hyksos to thank for that.

I figured it would take a couple of weeks for the instructor to post my grade, but that didn’t stop me from checking the website 15 times every day starting last week. Today the grade was there – 96%! Yeah! I’m still so happy. It feels good, doesn’t it, to work hard on something and have it pay off so well?

I learned a couple of things about myself while doing this. First, I’m really not as smart as I think. I had to read and reread everything so many times before I had a good enough grasp on it to take that test. I used to think that I was pretty quick, but that is not true. Not anymore. I really had to work for this test. And second, I really love history. Really. And I loved knowing that I could sit down and write about any of those topics and have something substantial to say. It felt good. It took forever to get there, but it felt good. And I aced it. Nice.

I do realize that many of you have accomplished so much more, and some who read this are still in school and might think that my one test is nothing. You're probably right. Still, it means something to me.

Ok, that’s probably enough about my great scholastic achievement. Thanks for indulging me.

And….
Hm. I guess that’s all I have to say. Oh! I do want to show you something. This is my nephew Spencer, and that is his roller coaster. He built it all by himself! Can you believe that? I talked to him on the phone one day while he was working on it (Spencer is in Minnesota), and he told me that he was looking at the pictures in the directions. He couldn’t really read the directions, so he just looked at the pictures. Unbelievable! Look at all of those little pieces. I’m stunned every time I see it.

That's it for today. Thanks, as always, for keeping me in mind.

You are loved.

Cakes in Review

2010-03-12T14:11:00.000-08:00

I had a very nice birthday. In fact, it turned into three nice days. I took some time off from work, had lunches and dinners with family and friends, went shopping, saw a movie, and enjoyed two very lazy mornings. Lovely.

Cakes
I had three birthday cakes this year, and each one was beautiful in its own special way. First, Cheryl brought a Snickers cake in to work on Monday – chocolate cake, thin chocolate frosting, and a thick layer of Snickers. Wow. If there is a cake heaven, and I do believe there is, then this cake will be there, and I will eat it. I will eat a lot of it. Assuming that I go to cake heaven, and I do believe that I will.

My second cake was homemade from scratch by Melissa. She’s so nice. Honestly, so nice. A bunch of us from DB had dinner at Chili’s Monday night, and she brought this cake for desert. I didn’t know that a Chili’s would let you bring in your own desert, but they did, and the waitress lit the candles, people sang, and we ate. This cake was chocolate, too, with white frosting, which was my childhood favorite. Delicious. She did a great job.

And third, on Wednesday, the birthday itself, the family got together at Marla’s. Barry and Melody bought a bakery cake – white with a thick, creamy strawberry filling. YUM! That's me yelling, "YUM!" Sierra was a bit shocked and dismayed to find a real strawberry in her filling. I tried to explain that it was, indeed, a strawberry cream, but she pointed out that that didn’t have to mean that they use real strawberries. She’s probably right. If you’re going to put fruit in dessert it should be very little and heavily covered with sugar and butter and cake and frosting. Anyway, the strawberry cream cake was delicious, and it was fun to have everyone together.

I’m really grateful to all of you who spent the time, effort and money to give me a happy birthday. And thank you, too, to all who sent birthday wishes. And for those of you who haven’t gotten there yet, 40 doesn’t feel any different than 30. In fact, the bakery guy told Melody that 40 is the new 30, so there you go. I just got a whole decade back.

14,600 Days

2010-03-08T14:16:00.000-08:00

It’s here. THE birthday. On Wednesday I will be 14,600 days old. That’s a lot of days. And I’ve been thinking about them and what they’ve given me.

There was the day I was born. Don’t remember much about that one, but I do know that after two boys my parents wanted a girl. Ta Da! I was happy to oblige.

Days as a little girl in Alexandria, riding my tricycle around the block with my brother over and over again, swinging on the rope swing in our back yard. My dad would push me so high.

The day I went to kindergarten with a new hair cut, and hid in the coat room because I was scared of what the other kids might say. My teacher came and was very nice, and I slowly came out, and everything was fine.

The day I got a tetanus shot, and it hurt so bad that my mom picked me up from school. She had me lay down on the couch with a pillow under my arm, and I watched Sesame Street. A pillow, just like royalty.

The day my family was sealed together in the Idaho Falls temple. I still remember seeing my mom in the mirrors in the sealing room, and she was smiling at me.

The day I met my new sister, one of the best things that ever happened to me.

The day we moved out on to the farm.

Days riding my bike down our country road.

Days working in the garden.

Days mowing our huge lawn (it took 4 hours. I’m not kidding).

Days with my cousins at Eagle Lake.

Days of breathing in the fresh evening air. It smelled so good, I'd suck it in until my lungs couldn't hold any more.

Ending days with my dad reading me a bedtime story.

The day my baby brother was born. He looked just the way I had imagined he would.

The day on the school playground when I first talked to Trina, and she was my best friend till the day we graduated 12 years later.

The day I learned how to work my new locker and figured out where classes were and started junior high.

Days with band and choir concerts, speech team competitions, school plays, and ballet recitals.

Days feeling lonely.

Days feeling insecure.

Days filled with all of that teenager know-it-all-ness.

Days when I fought with my mom, and then felt so sorry about fighting with my mom.

The days she made me lasagna and chocolate cake for my birthday.

The days she taught me how to make those things myself.

Days idolizing my older brothers.

The days they moved away from home.

The day I moved away from home, all the way to Idaho and Ricks College.

Days of being miserably homesick.

Days of loving being on my own.

The day of my first kiss, standing outside the door of my apartment.

My first formal dance.

My first breakup.

And crying.

Days of classes and homework and basketball games and dances.

Days with 80s hair.

The day I left school and moved to Salt Lake City.

Days learning to work fulltime, support myself, and pay the bills.

Days playing with a group from the singles' ward, so much fun.

Days climbing through the mountains and driving out to the lake.

Wedding days and getting new in-laws! I'm glad they're all good ones.

The day I decided to go on a mission, went home to Minnesota, sent in my papers, and got my call.

My first day at the MTC, probably the most emotional day of my life.

The day I traveled with the other missionaries to Santa Rosa, California. We crossed the Golden Gate Bridge on a bus. I was in awe.

Days of tracting, teaching, and seeing baptisms. Days of being so exhausted and so happy. Days of gaining a strength and confidence I hadn’t known before.

The day I came home, and wondered what was next.

Days of working and making some of my best friends.

Days with nieces and nephews.

Days on the road between here and Minnesota.

Days looking for wild animals in Yellowstone.

A day walking through Paris.

Four days in London - a dream come true.

Days of wondering what my life was all about, too many days of that.

Days when I learned to get over it and just live.

Days of letting go of some dreams, discovering others, and holding on to the ones I still believe in.

Days of slowly realizing that 40 is not such a big deal.

Days of looking at my life and seeing that it’s really very good. All of the ups and downs, the terrible struggles, the failures, the triumphs, the lessons learned, all of the many wonderful people I’ve known, it all adds up to 14,600 days of living.

Thank you for being a part of it!
You are loved.

5 Things I Wish Retail Shoppers Knew

2010-02-24T14:11:00.000-08:00

I’m a bit tentative about this post because I don’t want it to become a whiny rant about the nonsense that I have to put up with at work. No one wants that. Still, I think that there are some things that the public should know, it might even be helpful, so I’ll walk the fine line between sharing and ranting and hope that you’ll forgive me if I cross over it.

1. You really will get more from being nice. All of my coworkers agree – we are much more willing to help a pleasant person than a demanding one. When I have someone who is treating me with disrespect, or who is pushing for something unreasonable, or who is obviously trying to take advantage of us, then I dig in my heels and am more determined than ever to say no. But if I have a customer who is polite and considerate, I’m ok with giving him/her all the help they need. This applies to everything, returns, special orders, calling other stores for items, etc.

This doesn’t mean that a customer shouldn’t have expectations when it comes to customer service. Any store associate should willingly help. That’s our job. And we should also be polite and considerate. If there are times when you feel like you have to push a bit to get the help you need, then do so with a gentle hand. You’ll get better results from it.

2. Do not leave your children unattended. Two examples: some time ago I was working the register by the front door of our store. A little girl, maybe 5 years old, asked me if I would help her find her dad. I paged her dad’s name and asked him to come to the register, and then told the girl to wait there with me. Maybe five minutes later her dad walked in through the front door. He had dropped his daughter off in our children’s area and left the store. That is not ok! The children’s section of any store is not a daycare. Store employees are not responsible for your kids’ safety. It’s dangerous to leave them, especially in this day and age when children can disappear. Please don’t do it. Even if you’re staying in the same store, don’t leave them where you can’t see them.

Second example – just last night a father left his two boys in the children’s area (I don’t mean to be picking on fathers; mothers do these things too). He didn’t leave the store, just browsed around, but when he came back for them he found that they had ripped up some product beyond anything that we could sell. He saw this, took the ripped stuff up to the register area and left it there. Again, not ok! I honestly don’t see the difference between damaging store product that badly and shoplifting it. Either way, the store just lost money. I’d love to bring back the old “you break it you buy it” rule. Instead, if you have a child who has ruined something, give your apologies to a store worker. 99% of the time you will not be asked to pay for it. But we all feel much better when we see an adult willing to take responsibility for the mess. Just fess up.

3. Know the definition of “too much information”. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to control a wince or twitch in the eye when listening to peoples’ stories. And I always in the end think, “You don’t know me! Why would you tell me that?” Some of my coworkers get it more than I do because they’re friendlier. I do that on purpose. I don't want to hear all about a divorce, health problems, money problems, family problems, or any other very personal matter. Be friendly, sure. Some chit-chat and banter, why not? But honestly, know the appropriate boundaries. Otherwise you’re putting someone who can’t help you in a very uncomfortable position.

Oh, and one more thing along that same line. When making a return please realize that an item is either returnable or not. It’s as simple as that. Every store has a returns policy, and a detailed account of everything that happened to you from the moment you bought the item until bringing it back really isn’t necessary. We’re still going to act within the policy, regardless of the story.

4. A store associate cannot change a company. Too often people complain to a store associate about things that he/she cannot do anything about because of store policy, and it causes nothing but frustration on both sides. We can take an occasional gripe, that’s fine, but please stop at minor occasional gripes. I think that some people believe that if they tell someone in the store, then that information will be passed up through management to the top dogs who can do something about it, and really that’s not an unreasonable idea. In fact, it would be nice if the retail world worked that way, but it doesn’t. The truth is that the store employees are the last people that corporate listens to. The very last. You’d do better to call the corporate office yourself, honestly. Your complaints will get further that way. And you'll save a sales clerk from having to listen to complaints. Complaints really bring us down.

5. Please do not bring to the register items that you do not intend to buy. That’s just irritating.

That’s my list. Too whiny? I hope not. Those of you who have worked retail will understand. Thanks for your consideration.

A Week in Review

2010-02-19T10:31:00.000-08:00

Hello everybody. I feel like writing something today, and since its Friday, so let’s go ahead with a Week in Review.

Kind of Dull
I do want to write something today, but can’t think of anything to say. Really. It’s been dull around here. The Olympics are on….eh. They haven’t done much for me this time around. I’ve wondered why, but I don’t know. Maybe it’s because they’re in Canada, and I’ve made it my cause to hate Canada until the day I die. No reason really. It’s just fun to have an enemy. But I don’t think that even my loathing of the Great White North is causing this lack of interest. I guess I’m just not in the mood. But what else has happened this week? I went to work, I went home, my roommate was watching the Olympics so I joined her, and then I thought, “This is boring. I’m going to bed.” And then I read a book until I fell asleep. Repeat seven times. Not much material there for a blog post. Not much at all.

And now we’re done
Topics of conversation have a shelf life with me. For example, when a treat is put out to share here at work, everyone, EVERYONE, who takes a bit of it has to ask a whole load of questions, “What’s the occasion?” “Who brought this in?” "Did he/make it?" “What is it?” GAAAAAAA! Just take some and go! After seven years of this, I’ve made it a point to make sure that the treats are placed far away from me, and I pretend like I don’t hear people when they start rattling off the questions. Really, in the end, I don’t know that they care if anyone is listening. It’s a compulsive reaction to seeing a treat.

Today Cheryl has a jar of Jelly Bellys at her desk, fun for everyone. There is a coffee flavored bean, and its caused quite an uproar with my Mormon coworkers. Gasps of horror when someone accidentally gets one are followed by jokes, “You’re going to have to see your Bishop now.” And then warnings, “Don’t get one of those coffee ones. They’re horrible!” This has gone on for days. A few minutes ago someone warned someone else about the coffee bean, and I looked at Cheryl and said, “I just hit my limit for coffee jelly bean comments. No more. We’re done now.” She laughed and said that she’d put up a sign asking everyone to keep their comments to themselves. I’d have her do it if I thought it would work.

Just between you and me, I kind of like the coffee ones.

A Memory
A few days ago Tiffany posted three memories from her childhood, and they were good, and made me think of some of my own. I’ll share just one. I remember walking behind my dad while he tilled up the garden with the tiller. I’d go barefoot, and the dirt was so black, and soft and cold. It felt good between my toes, like nothing else I can think of. Worms were worked up from the ground, and I’d stop to pick them up, watch them squirm in my hand, and then drop them again and keep walking, sometimes stepping in Dad’s footprints, and sometimes in the dirt. I’d love to do that again.

Well, I think that’s it. Thanks, as always, for your continued greatness.
You are loved.

Valentine Wishes

2010-02-12T13:20:00.001-08:00

Hello All,
I just wanted to wish you a Happy Valentines Day!
Go hug someone you love.

You are loved.

This is why Billy Collins is Great

2010-02-10T09:47:00.000-08:00

If you've ever heard kids playing the Marco Polo game (Sierra, I'm talking to you), then you'll understand this poem. It makes me laugh out loud.

Hangover
If I were crowned emperor this morning,
every child who is playing Marco Polo
in the swimming pool of this motel,
shouting the name Marco Polo back and forth

Marco Polo Marco Polo

Would be required to read a biography
of Marco Polo-a long one with fine print-
as well as a history of China and of Venice,
the birthplace of the venerated explorer

Marco Polo Marco Polo

After which each child would be quizzed
by me then executed by drowning
regardless how much they managed
to retain about the glorious life and times of

Marco Polo Marco Polo

Motherhood

2010-02-08T15:07:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was one of those Sundays when it might have been better for me to skip Relief Society all together. The lesson was on motherhood, and as any woman who has ever been to Relief Society knows, that can become a touchy subject for many women for many reasons. A volatile subject.

The teacher was a woman who I know and like very much. In fact she’s my visiting teacher, so we’ve had lots of long conversations, and I think the world of her. She started her lesson by acknowledging that there are women in our ward living in all different circumstances: some married with young children, some married without children, some never married at all, some whose children are grown up and gone… and she wanted to share the idea that all women everywhere still have the divine trait of motherhood and can use it. But because almost all of the women in the room (rather than being a diverse group) were women with children who had given up work to be stay-at-home moms, most of the comments came from that perspective and defended that lifestyle, which, I think, threw the lesson off its course. The comments focused on the worldly view of motherhood, and how it makes those who stay at home rather than having career feel like they don’t measure up, like they’re “just a mom” or “just a housewife”. It was the typical discussion, and of course the underlying agreement was that there’s nothing in the whole world more important for a woman to do than to raise children.

I believe that. I believe very strongly in the role of motherhood, and in the principles of family that the church teaches. I always have, and maybe that’s why I always start to squirm in lessons like this. It’s hard to know that the path your life has taken is off track, that you’re not fulfilling your most divine role, and that nothing else in this world will ever be as good. So, when faced with these situations, I just sit quietly and wait for the lesson to be over so that I can go home, and maybe cry.

But, there was one woman in the crowd who couldn’t sit quietly. She raised her hand and told us all that she had always been a working mom because she had to be in order to support her family, and then she broke into tears. She said a few times over that her children were always her first priority, but she couldn’t say much more because she was really crying. I think that what others had said had hurt her, and made her feel like she hadn’t done things right, and she was trying to speak up for herself but couldn’t.

The teacher, at this point, said that she understood that women in the Church lived in so many different circumstances, and many have to work, and that there’s nothing wrong with that, and then she tried to get back to her original message. And that’s when she picked me out of the crowd and started asking me questions about how I feel about my divine role as a mother.

If she was looking for someone who could be a cheerleader for the single girls who love acting like moms, she chose the wrong single girl.

I said, “These lessons are always painful for me.” And then I stumbled and stammered and searched for words. She said, “You have nieces, right?” People love to mention the nieces and nephews, like they’re a consolation prize.

“Yes, I do, and I love them. I’ve loved spending time with them. They’ve given me a lot of joy. But do they replace having children of my own? No, of course not.”

I think that then another woman raised her hand and mentioned that her children have an unmarried aunt, and that she’s been a huge influence and very important and other nice things. I was so uncomfortable at this point that I wasn’t really listening.

Then the teacher asked me again, “But how does it make you feel to know that you still have this divine role as a mother?”

“It hurts.” What I meant was that it’s hard to hear because it just makes me feel like the most important part of my life is missing, but I couldn’t get that out, so I just said, “I think that people have to accept things, and make the best of it” and then I let it go. She didn’t call on me anymore.

I sat there fighting back the tears, feeling like a spotlight had just been blasted on me at my most vulnerable, and like I had just derailed this poor woman’s lesson. But I just couldn’t give her the answers she was looking for. I couldn’t tell her that even though I’m single I’m still working all the time to mother people and am so fulfilled and happy. I can’t say that with any sincerity because I simply don’t believe it.

After the lesson many of the women gave me hugs and told me that they loved me and said that they appreciated my honesty. The teacher and I hugged each other too. There are no hard feelings. I really appreciated the outpouring of support. At least I could go home without feeling like I had ruined Relief Society.

I’ve thought a lot about the whole scene since and here’s what I’ve come up with. I understand what the teacher was trying to tell us: women are blessed with a natural ability to nurture, to reach out to others, to take care of them, and to love. And any woman, no matter her situation, can develop those qualities.

But I can do that without having to think of myself as a mother. It wouldn’t be healthy for me to think that I had to somehow find a way to fulfill a divine calling that simply doesn’t fit, not now, not like this. Life has enough pressures without having to live up to something like that. I love the children in my life, love them like crazy, and we’ve had a lot of fun together, but that doesn't make me a mother. They have mothers, and I think that it would be a slight to their mothers to think that I am also filling that role. That's not what they need from me. They need me to be Angie, their aunt, their friend, another person in this world who loves them. Their main support system is in their own home with their parents, and that’s how it should be. I’m a little something extra.

No, if I were to base my self-worth on whether or not I was fulfilling my role as a mother, I wouldn’t get out of bed in the morning. Instead I find my self-worth in who I really am – a daughter of God, a sister, an aunt, a daughter, a friend. And if the people in my life need a little extra nurturing from me, then they know I’ll give it. I’ll hug them so tight it hurts. But at the same time I’m a single girl. I am independent, self-supporting, and learning to value myself for myself. And I really believe that if I learn that now then I will be a better person, and a better mother should that day come.

Women everywhere are constantly bombarded with things that can make them feel bad about themselves. Even those who live the ideal, who have a good husband and are able to stay home with their children, can still feel like they’re not enough. It’s at those times when a sincere prayer will fill in the empty spaces. Trust in the Lord’s love. And then call a friend. If you need to, call me. I’m not your mother, but I'm happy to help.

A Week in Review

2010-02-05T11:00:00.001-08:00

Hello All. How do you feel about reviving A Week in Review? I feel ok about it, so let’s go.

Community
I have a new tv show, and it’s called Community, and man is it funny. It’s on Thursday nights at 7, the lead-in to NBC’s much-loved must-see Thursday (I just used a lot of hyphens), which is pretty much the only thing that network is still doing right (my apologies for jumping on the boooo to NBC bandwagon. I’ve been watching way too many awards shows lately and it’s all they talk about). I don’t know that this show gets much advertising or promotion, but it should because it is good, and if they want it to stay on the air as much as I do, then someone needs to start letting people know about it. I started watching just because it is on before the other Thursday night staples, The Office, 30 Rock. Now I find myself laughing out loud more often at this than at any of the others, and then I’ll rewind and watch parts again. It’s comedy gold. And it’s followed by Parks and Recreation – good too.

Speaking Of
We got the DVR a couple of months ago. I honestly could not have cared less about it before we had it. In fact there was a time when I thought that basic cable was way too much money, more than it’s worth. The money people will pay just to watch television is astonishing! But, Melissa found a good deal on adding the DVR, so I said, “Fine, whatever.” And now I love it. I feel like I’ve compromised my own personal moral values in falling in love with DVR, because it is just television and shouldn’t play such a deeply emotional part in a girl’s life, but man is it nice to know that a show is recording, and to fast forward through commercials, and the re-watch scenes. It’s a beautiful thing.

Technically Challenged
I like to think that I’m up on the workings of this new, high-tech world we live in. The people that I work with think that I’m a computer wizard because I can answer their questions, which are usually something like, “How do I make this print?” or “How do I save this document in my file?” I’m not making that up to be funny. They really ask these questions. It’s because the average age here is 71 years old. When I tell them how to do what they want to do, I get a lot of, “You’re a genius!” and “Oh Angie, you’re so smart.” It’s good for the soul, but it’s also given me a bloated image of my technical savvy. In the real world, I’m not so hot. I was reading a post from Tiffany earlier this week, and she was talking about all of the songs she’s been downloading lately, and I commented on the fact that I have never, not once, downloaded a song. Never. The closest I’ve come is downloading two ringtones for my phone (Coldplay, awesome), and even then I kind of screwed it up and paid way more money for them than I should have. I’ve never handled an iPod. If I’ve touched one, it’s only because I was with a niece or nephew who has one, and even then I can’t recall a specific time when I held an iPod in my hands. And now there’s all of this i-everything else out there. I’ll never get caught up. I’ve played the WII and Rock Band, also with nieces and nephews, and have super sucked at everything except being the lead singer on Rock Band. I can carry the tune, not well, but still carry.

The fact of the matter is…I’m simply not that interested. I guess I don’t see this as a fault, but it can put me in rather awkward situations when it’s obvious that I’m still living in the early 2000s (really, not that long ago). Still, I’m ok with my status. I didn’t play Atari or Pacman when they were new, either. I was never one to buy many cds. I’d still rather make a phone call then send a text, and when I’m reading a book I want to hold a BOOK, not a computer screen. Books just feel so good. Why would anyone replace that? I suppose the day will come when I’m asking much younger people to help me do something that they find ridiculously easy, and let it come. Then I’ll get to be the one who says, “You’re a genius.”

Some Changes Need to be Made
I’m a moody girl. This isn’t news to any one of you. It’s not news to me. I’ve always had streaks where I’m too grumpy, too emotional, too impatient, or just want to be left alone, but over the last year or more I think that it’s gotten to be too much. I think that my moodiness has at become a burden to others, and I’ve never wanted that. What I haven’t realized is how my attitude has made others feel, or the impression it’s left on them. I’ve always vented, and then felt better, and then moved on without seeing that I’ve left a black trail of muck behind. The muck needs to be cleaned up. I need to become the master of my moods. This isn’t to say I’ll never again get mad as ****, I’m just not going to dump it all over everyone. There will still be those trusted few who I will talk to when I need someone, but all of the people I work with, or see in the mall, or ride with in the elevator will no longer get the evil eye from me. And I’m going to be more rational about what’s worth getting worked up over and what isn’t. Most things aren’t. I’m hoping that by the end of this transformation I will be a pleasant person again, like I used to be, when I was young.

Transitioning
Another transition – I’m working on my weight an overall health, and have found that transitioning into better habits has worked better for me than trying to make dramatic changes all at once. First I gave up sugar (with a few slips, but for the most part doing well), and then moved on to overly-processed starches. I’m even thinking (Nicole) of giving up the Diet Coke. Ouch, just writing that made me hurt all over, but I am thinking about it. I’ve been walking more regularly, and have been happy with how much better I feel. I’m a work in progress. Then again, aren’t we all?

Well my friends, I think that’s it for today. Thanks, as always, for your continued support.
You are loved.

An Apology and a Random Theory, Neither Having Anything to do with the Other

2010-02-01T09:13:00.001-08:00

I feel like I should apologize for the recent and total lameness of this blog. It's practically on life support. I'm sorry. I just haven't been feeling it. I guess that's normal, for ideas and inspiration to come and go (assuming that I've ever been inspired). Even A Week in Review has lapsed lately. I can only apologize again. It's not that I've been feeling down. In fact, I'm doing well. There has been an intense family drama going on, really more Marla's family than mine, her brother-in-law is ill, and last Friday I wrote about that, but later went back and deleted it. He's been in very, very bad shape, and I went with her to see him, and it was heartbreaking. So I wrote a very long story about the experience, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt like it was too sad and too heavy/melo-dramatic, and not really something I wanted here. So it's gone. Are you curious now? Feel free to submit questions in the comments section and I'll try to get back to you.

Other than that....I saw a good movie last Saturday, "When in Rome". I went in with no expectations, so was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. That Josh Duhamel is a charmer. See...

That reminds me of one of my more recent theories. A few weeks ago there was a special election in Massachusetts, where Democrats typically win without contest. But this time Republican Scott Brown won making the political pundits all throw their hands in the air and run around in circles screaming, "What can this mean?!" I think I know what it means. Let's look at the men who have over the years won office in Massachusetts:

John F. Kennedy - Democrat, US Senator and then President

His brother, Ted Kennedy - Democrat, US Senator for a long, long time.

Mitt Romney - Republican, elected Governor in 2002.

And now Scott Brown - Republican, US Senator.

Look closely at these pictures and you'll see that what the people of Massachusetts really want is a handsome white man with a good head of hair. That's their representation. I should send one of my brothers to Boston, and he'd soon be in public office. Probably without running. He'd probably be approached on the street and asked to please take over for a current, less attractive, Representative. If Josh Duhamel ever wants to try politics, after saving the world from the Decepticons and wooing Kristen Bell, then he should move to Massachusetts.

That's my theory.

While at work on Saturday I started forming a list, much like my 10 things I wish missionary mom's knew list, for retail shoppers. I think it will take shape and be posted soon. In the mean time, I'm sorry for the lame blog, and I hope that pictures of handsome men will somehow redeem it, although I don't have much hope.

Football

2010-01-26T10:34:00.001-08:00

I watched the Minnesota Vikings lose their championship game on Sunday. It was painful. They were so close and really should have had it. I admit I had my hopes up too high and was already planning the Super Bowl party with the family, and on buying a sweatshirt. Hopes dashed, it’s a crushing blow. I suppose, though, that it’s harder for the team than it is for me.

I’m not much of a sports nut. I’m what people lovingly, or through gritted teeth, refer to as a “fair-weather fan”. I get excited when a home team is winning because it really is fun, but otherwise I don’t pay much attention. But, I have always kept my eye on the Vikings. I like to know how their season in going. It’s a tie to home, and to good childhood memories.

Fall in Minnesota is gorgeous. Fresh, crisp air, cool sweatshirt weather, that chill in the morning, the leaves changing to brilliant colors, and Sunday afternoons with football on television. We’d sit down to Sunday dinner with a game on in the background. Games were on all afternoon. I think my affection for football has more to do with that picture of home than with the actual game. Although, a good long pass down the field to an open receiver is always exciting.

My brothers were the real fans. Back in the 70s the Vikings had a running back named Chuck Foreman who they idolized. They even made up a game in his honor – Chucky Passes. One would throw the football in some crazy way and then the other had to kill himself to catch it. The idea was that Chuck could catch anything, so they tried to create and then catch the impossible pass. Chucky Passes, great name.

Aaron and Barry often recruited (sometimes with force) me, Marla and Shane into playing football in the back yard. We had huge yard with a stretch of grass that was long, maybe 30 yards, and straight, and that was our field. The boys split up as team captains. They’d split Marla and me because we’re girls, and then Shane was added to a team, three against two. We’d huddle, and Aaron or Barry, whoever’s team I was on, would explain the play we were going run. They’d put their fingers in the grass, “This is me. Ang, you’re here. When I say ‘hut’, you run to this side. I’ll fake a handoff, and then you go out for the pass.” All of this was drawn in the grass, leaving little holes between the blades where his fingers were.

All of our plays were planned out. I wasn’t a great player (although I can, to this day, throw a nice spiral), and sometimes I had to face the wrath of an older brother when a pass wasn’t caught, or I messed up somehow. It’s a tough game, and Marla and I had to be tough girls. We played full-on tackle. Those guys plowed us into the grass, and we did the same to them. I remember wrapping my arms around Barry’s waist and dragging him to the ground. Nice.

Courtney was so much younger than the rest of us that he didn’t get in on those games, but he and I played when he was older, mostly easy games of catch. We’d go for walks down our gravel road and take the football with us. He’d run out ahead and I’d throw it to him, and then I’d run out and he’d throw it. “Go deep”, that’s what we said when we wanted to other to run out for a pass. “Go deep.” That’s it, and we knew exactly what to do. He liked to tackle, too. I always had to keep one eye on him because he’d come at me from out of nowhere and smack! I’d be on the ground. He still wants to do that, even though we’re way too old now. Sometimes he’ll look at me and say, “Tackle?” and I’ll say, “No!” It hurts, hitting the ground that hard. I hate it. I’m pretty sure that he plagues his wife and kids with the same thing. Court played on the school’s team through high school. I remember mom telling me that after the last game of his senior year he was honestly sad for days. It was hard for him to know that he was done for good.

So when people ask me what my favorite sport is I say football. I’m clueless about the different teams (other than to recognize the names) and they’re players and stat details and so-and-so’s career, but still I love that game. Love it. And the family and I will have good food and watch the Super Bowl in a couple of weeks even though the Vikings won’t be there. It’s a Sunday afternoon, and those are made for football. Why mess with tradition?

A Week in Review

2010-01-22T14:01:00.000-08:00

The good news is I’m not dead yet. In fact I just took a walk in the fresh cool air, cleared my head, and feel ready for A Week in Review.

History
As most of you know I like history, especially British history. The stories are fascinating, and I love to put all of the pieces together, with the people in their places, and see how it all fits, and then see what comes next. Each generation builds on the last. Sometimes it’s hard to see the connections. You can look at today, and then at an event from 500 years ago, and the past doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the present. But if you can see how that one event lead to another and then another, creating a domino effect right up to today, then you begin to realize that everything we have is the result of the work of many people over many years. It’s brilliant.

I suppose most history nuts have specific people that they are especially interested in. For me two of those people are Anne Boleyn and her daughter Queen Elizabeth of England. Going to London was something that I’d wanted to do for as long as I can remember. I think that’s common, too, having a place in mind that you’ve always wanted to see. Mine was London. I read travel books and studied maps for years, so when Melody and I went in 2008 it was almost like going home. I know that sounds strange (although the countryside does look just like Minnesota), but the place had been in my head for so long that it was familiar. A huge and overwhelming and mind-blowing city, yes, but still familiar.

Our first evening there we decided to spend some time in the National Portrait Gallery.
It's just what the title says – a portrait gallery. Every portrait done of every king, queen, noblemen, statesman, writer, artist or person worth mentioning in England is in that gallery. We went to the section dedicated to the Tudors, Kings Henry VII, Henry VIII (and his six wives), Edward VI, Queen Mary and Queen Elizabeth. Anne Boleyn was one of Henry VIII’s wives, so her portrait is included in this part of the gallery. It’s a picture that I had seen in books many times before, but standing in front of the original was completely different. It drew me in. I studied every feature, the colors, the expression, and when I’d stood there more than long enough and walked away, I kept looking back until I’d rounded a corner and couldn’t see her anymore. None of the other portraits affected me like Anne’s did. Who knows why.

The next day we went to the Tower of London, a very famous landmark for lots of reasons. Anne Boleyn died here, and Elizabeth was jailed here by her sister Queen Mary for a short time (I won't go into the whole story). Again at the Tower I felt strong emotions, like the people who'd lived there for the 1000 years that it's been standing were still all around. There’s a set of stairs that go from the river up into the Tower, and it’s said that when Elizabeth was taken there she sat on those stairs and, either out of fear or anguish, was frozen to the spot until the guards pulled her up. You can see those stairs now through the gates, and I stared at them for a long time. I actually teared up. Seems silly now. The stairs and I shared a moment.

The Tower of London

A marker on the Tower grounds where Queen Anne died.

Traitor's gate, where Elizabeth was brought into the tower. You can see the steps through the woodwork at the top.

So what’s my point with all of this and what does it have to do with this week? Well I’ll tell you. Some time ago a guy in my ward told me that we can start using the new Family Search program that the Church has been building for years. I remembered that this morning and decided to log on and see what it was all about. I think I’ve mentioned before that I've dabbled in family history. My sister-in-law, Andrea, is our family expert (every family has one), and all of what I have to work with I’ve gotten from her, including my enthusiasm. I had looked at our pedigrees enough to see that my Mom’s side of the family needed some work, so I’ve spent time on that off-and-on over the last few years ago. In a few different searches on a few different websites I found that someone else (a very distant relative) had done a good deal of research on this part of my family and had posted it! Hooray! The line took our family all the way back to Virginia in the 1600s. I downloaded the information and shared it with Andrea, and I think that she loaded it into the church site.

That’s where I started looking on Family Search today. I found those ancestors in Virginia, and then started going back through the line into England, and then I saw a name, Thomas Howard. The Howards were a powerful family in the court of King Henry VIII, but I wasn’t sure that this man belonged to the same Howards. I clicked on a few different links and there it was - Thomas Howard had a sister named Elizabeth who married Thomas Boleyn, and they had a daughter named Anne Boleyn. Anne eventually married Henry VIII and they had a daughter, Elizabeth. We're related. A very, very distant relation, yes, but still there’s a connection. My great, great, great, etc, etc grandfather was Anne’s uncle and Elizabeth’s great-uncle. Can you believe that? I can’t believe it, and I can’t tell you how thrilled I am.

History is more than a bunch of names and dates, it’s the story of the lives of real people, and of how their lives connect to ours. And family history is the same but with a more profound effect. I have felt something for these two women for YEARS, and today, today, I learned that we come from the same family. They are a part of my personal heritage. Of course, every person has countless ancestors, and my heritage comes from Norwegians and Belgians along with the Brits. There’s a little piece of all of them in me, and all of their lives have come together to create mine. It really is brilliant.

And speaking of connections
I have a nephew named Andrew (aka Drew) who likes to pretend that he is characters from his favorite shows, and when he’s being one of these characters you have to call him by that name or he’s outraged. Courtney (my brother, his dad) will sometimes get after him about something and say, “Drew you need to do this” or “stop doing that”, and Drew will look at him and say, “I’m Hammer Head”. Nice. Please disregard everything that was just said. Dad was addressing the wrong person.

Sidenote - You all know what the missing link is, right, in science and evolution? It’s a term used for the phase of evolution that connects the creatures, like apes and humans, for example. The missing link is the final gap between the two. It’s also the name of a character on “Monsters Vs. Aliens”.

Back to the story. Today I was talking to Andrea (Drew’s mom) on the phone, and Drew wanted to say hi. So he got on, and I said, “Hi Drew!” and he said, “I’m The Missing Link”. Really?! You know, now that I think about it, Drew does have a large forehead and likes to plow through a room like a gorilla on a rampage, so maybe…

Well, I think that’s enough for today. Thanks, as always, for your continued attention.
You are loved.

Maybe This all Started with Me Getting Older

2010-01-20T10:50:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday I was having a nice dinner with Barry, Melody and The Girls. I don’t know what brought this on, but I started talking about the dangers of me having a medical emergency in the middle of the night and having no one there to help me. I’m getting close to 40 and it’s messing with my head. Oh, and Sierra was telling us about a girl in her apartment building at school who had appendicitis and had to be taken to the emergency room during the night. That kind of talk always makes me wonder, “If something like that happened to me, how long would I lay there before someone found me? Days, weeks….”

So I said, “If I died during the night I would lay there for a week before anyone figured it out.”

Barry looked at me with his eyebrows scrunched together like “What are you talking about?”

Melody, “I’m sure I would wonder if I hadn’t heard from you for a week. Or work would call to find out where you are. ” Yeah, a lot of good that would do when I’m unconscious.

Someone else pointed out that I do, in fact, have a roommate.

Me, “Yeah, but if I’m leaving for work one morning and see that she’s still in bed, I just figure that she’s not feeling well or maybe has a day off. I don’t knock on the door and go in there.”

Melody, “But you would if she was still there when you got home.” Well maybe. I shrugged and mumbled something. But the truth is that up until now it’s not likely that I would have. Melissa and I both have days when we need a good amount of alone time, and we respect that, and I rarely knock on her door when she’s in her room. Honestly, it would be DAYS…

Barry, whose eyebrows are now deeply furrowed in his head, “It’s not like you’re 85….” Always the voice of reason. But still you never know. You never know.

So of course that moved to the inevitable talk about choking on food while alone and having to try the Heimlich maneuver over a chair. It’s every single woman’s fear. In fact, I’ve seen this acted out on tv shows more than once, Liz Lemon on 30 Rock for example. You start having disturbing thoughts about being alone, and then one day a piece of chicken gets caught in the throat and you’re desperately running around the apartment looking for a chair. It’s a rational fear.

Barry still thinks I’m ridiculous.

So last night when I got home from the bookstore, Melissa was in the spare room working on her computer. I knocked, opened the door and said hello. We had some friendly chit-chat, and then I told her about our Sunday dinner conversation. She thought it was all pretty funny (honestly, everyone refuses to be afraid that I might lay dead in my room for a week). Then we decided that we should come up with a plan, a point at which we go into the other’s room and check for breathing. We established that it’s always ok for either of us to wake up the other at night if we feel like we need medical attention. But as far as either of us checking on the other...it's still kind of a gray area. I'd hate to wake her up for no reason.

Later I thought about notes that can be posted on the bedroom doors if we’re in there for a long time, just avoid being bothered when it’s not necessary. Something like, “I’m ok.” “I don’t feel well, but you don’t need to worry.” And then we could have the in case of emergency series, “Please call the ambulance.” “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.” Of course, that last one might be hard to stick on the outside of the door, if indeed I can’t get up, but maybe with a well-designed series of ropes and pulleys…I’ll have to work that out.

The good news is that after talking to Melissa I feel reassured. No, I haven’t honestly been scared of dying in my sleep and no one finding me until the neighbors report a bad smell and a CSI team has to break down the door. But weird things do go through your head when you’re on your own, and it’s nice to know that Melissa is there. It’s always good to have someone there.

And Now if You'll Please Turn Your Attention to Me

2010-01-19T12:50:00.000-08:00

I just want to point out that I successfully created my own blog header from a picture of my own bookshelf. Feel free to leave compliments in the comments section.

Not Really a Week in Review

2010-01-15T10:37:00.000-08:00

Guys, I can't think of anything to write about today. Honestly, I've tried. So instead, here are some of the highlights of 2009 in pictures....of the kids....of course.

Amalia, born March 4, 2009

William gets overalls and a winter hat.

A trip to Mt. Rushmore

Noah, Cortni, Jonah, Josh, Savannah holding Amalia, Mariah, Drew, Zac holding William, and Sierra and Spencer on the floor. June, 2009

Spencer and Drew take on a Mammoth.

Sierra took on high school and conquered.

Noah learned how to whistle through a blade of grass.

Sierra and Mariah on Thanksgiving Day.

Sweater-vest and tie.

Jonah's baptism

Thanks, as always, for a great year!

You are loved.

Because You're Dying to Know What's Up with Me

2010-01-11T10:47:00.000-08:00

Hello! It’s been a while since I’ve done a review of my activities. Today is not Friday, so I cannot do an official Week in Review. It’s essential that that only be done on Friday. Some customs should not be messed with. So here’s just a random bunch of stuff.

Minnesota People – Just after the holidays I was listening to Minnesota celebrity Garrison Keillor on Public Radio. He was talking about the 12 days of Christmas and said, “Twelve days of celebration is usually too much for anyone from Minnesota.” I laughed, and then thought, “That’s so true!” As much as I like the holidays, and the break from work that comes with them, it’s always good to get things back to normal. In fact, I usually hit a wall a few days before December 25th when I’m ready to just get it done. Of course working retail has something to do with that, but I think I would feel that way even without the store. A full December’s worth of festivity really is too much for a serious-minded, stoic Minnesotan. It’s nice to be back to work.

Mercyville – Years ago I worked with a good friend named Joel McCausland whose claim to fame is being one of the two members of Afterglow. We worked together at FranklinCovey, and I was his assistant for about three years. Since then we’ve kept in touch with random emails here and there. Recently he and Afterglow released their first CD of original music in ten years. I bought one and have liked it. I even called him to tell him that I liked it, and it was fun to talk and get caught up again. The cd is good, so if you’re looking for some LDS Sunday music, give it a try.

Jonah – He was successfully baptized on January 2, although it took three dunkings to get it done right, maybe because he has a list of enemies.

Lasagna – Saturday I went to Marla’s for dinner and she made what was the best lasagna I have ever had, hands down, no exaggeration. The recipe came from the Pioneer Woman Cookbook, which I mentioned in a past post because Nicole and I went to her book signing in November. It really was good! Marla has also made the chicken pot pie and said that it was delicious too. I have my own copy of this cookbook and am ready to start making some of these recipes myself, which will not at all work into my resolution to lose weight…

Resolutions – Yes I, like most people, have a renewed resolution to lose weight this year. In my case it’s very necessary. But I’m having a hard time stirring up the motivation to get started. Where’s my enthusiasm for positive change? I don’t know. I might have to just start without any enthusiasm and hope that it shows up eventually.

Victoria – Melissa and I saw a good move called “Young Victoria”, about Queen Victoria of England, set in the mid 1800s. It’s very well done, beautiful sets and costumes, a nice love story, good acting, and rated PG. You can’t beat that.

Credit where credit is due – I’m very impressed with my nieces. Barry and Melody went out of town last weekend, so Sierra, Mariah and Savannah were home alone from Friday till Monday. I went to see them Sunday and found them alive and well. And I found out that they got themselves to church that day, went to all three meetings, and then went to a youth fireside that night, all without any parental supervision. Sierra planned to watch a CES fireside on tv, so I did that with her while Mariah and Savannah were at their fireside. The girls are 19, 17 and 15, so they’re old enough to get themselves where they need to be. What impressed me wasn’t that they can do this, but they did do it. Not all teenagers would go to a full Sunday’s worth of meetings without their parents’ push. And yes, I’m sure that they were told that they had to go to the fireside, but mom and dad are in San Diego, not close by to enforce the rules. The more I think about it the more wonderful I think it is. They know what’s right, and they do it, all on their own. That takes real maturity, a good upbringing, and good hearts. What good girls.

Update on the big-girl bed – I love it, and it’s nearly impossible to get up in the morning. It’s the best/worst thing that’s ever happened to me.

There it is. I hope you are all enjoying a happy new year!
You are loved.

I Believe

2010-01-07T10:02:00.001-08:00

Some time ago Sierra put a quote on her blog that I just love. It's from Audrey Hepburn:

"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." Audrey Hepburn

I thought about stealing it an acting like it was my own, but that would be wrong, so then I thought about writing my own I Believe statement. I mulled it over for a few days, and then one night wrote out a list. It still needs refining, but here's what I've come up with.

I believe in gratitude.
I believe that we are stronger than we imagine possible.
I believe in getting to work and getting it done - whatever it is.
I believe that most of what we dread, once done, isn't as bad as we thought it would be.
I believe in spoiling children just enough to make them feel special.
I believe that beauty comes from knowing who you are and liking it, then add mascara and lipstick.
I believe in staying close to siblings, and in giving parents credit for having done their best.
I believe that a good nap will cure most of what ails you. A good walk will cure the rest.
I believe in sincerity.
I believe in good hugs.
I believe in telling people that you love them, and even more so in showing it.
I believe that when we think critically of others, we only hurt ourselves.
I believe that life is best lived with others, but you can do it alone when you have to.
I believe in kindness.
I believe that there is Divinity in all of us.
I believe in the beauty of words.
I believe that we can always find reasons to be miserable, but if we turn our attention in another direction, we'll find much to be happy about. I believe that it's up to each of us to make that choice.

Time to Forgive. Then Again Maybe Not.

2009-12-30T10:15:00.000-08:00

A few years ago Jonah and I were in my car together on our way to somewhere, probably Target, probably so that he could talk me into buying him toys. He was in the back seat and being unusually quite for a little boy who can talk a blue streak. It was summer time, and the air conditioning in my car wasn't working very well, and for a second I was scared that Jonah had lost consciousness in the heat.

"Jonah, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm just sitting here. I'm thinking about my enemies."

What?! Enemies?! And then he started listing them off, including a cousin who, in order to protect the child, I'll call Jack.

I said, in an attempt to be the good aunt, something about Jesus wanting us to be nice to and love everyone.

"Oh, but I hate Jack!"

So much for my teaching moment. It took all I had not to laugh. It's important not to laugh out loud at the kids when they are being so serious. I have, though, told that story a thousand times and laughed at it ever since.

Jonah turned 8 years old this month, and his baptism is this coming Saturday. A couple of days ago I was talking to my dad on the phone, and mentioned Jonah's baptism, and Dad said, "Did you tell him that if he's going to be baptized then he needs to forgive his enemies?" I had not! I did talk to him about giving up his toy addiction, and he assured me that that didn't need to happen until he turned 12, so he's good there.

I probably should ask him about his enemies, just to make sure that his conscious is clean before Saturday. Although, I'm sure that Jonah is the good guy in these scenarios, kind of like Batman and the Joker. No one ever tells Batman that it's time to forgive.

Angie's Christmas Countdown, December 25

2009-12-23T10:51:00.000-08:00

Luke 2:25-32

25 And, behold, there was a man in Jerusalem, whose name was Simeon; and the same man was just and devout, waiting for the consolation of Israel: and the Holy Ghost was upon him.

26 And it was revealed unto him by the Holy Ghost, that he should not see death, before he had seen the Lord’s Christ.

27 And he came by the Spirit into the temple: and when the parents brought in the child Jesus, to do for him after the custom of the law,

28 Then took he him up in his arms, and blessed God, and said,

29 Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, according to thy word:

30 For mine eyes have seen thy salvation,

31 Which thou hast prepared before the face of all people;

32 A light to lighten the Gentiles, and the glory of thy people Israel.

Angie's Christmas Countdown, December 24

2009-12-23T10:49:00.000-08:00

Luke 2:8-14

8 And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

9 And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

12 And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

14 Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Angie's Christmas Countdown, December 23

2009-12-23T08:05:00.001-08:00

Luke 2:6-7
6 And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

7 And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

Angie's Christmas Countdown, December 22

2009-12-22T06:56:00.000-08:00

Luke 2:1-5

1 And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed.

2 (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)

3 And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.

4 And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)

5 To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

Angie's Christmas Countdown, December 21

2009-12-21T08:54:00.000-08:00

Luke 1:26-32

26 And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth,

27 To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin’s name was Mary.

28 And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women.

29 And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be.

30 And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God.

31 And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS.

32 He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David:

A Week in Review

2009-12-18T08:21:00.000-08:00

It's 9:22 am. My brain doesn't start to function, not well anyway, until after 10, so this might be a little fuzzy. We will press on, nevertheless, with a Week in Review.

A Big Girl Bed
I got a new bed. Actually, it's a hand-me-down bed from Barry and Melody. They bought a new bedroom set, very nice, and asked me if I wanted their old bed. I said, "Yes I do!" I have slept in a twin size bed all of my life. Since leaving the craddle I've been in a twin. Friends and family have over the years told me that it was time for a big girl bed, but they cost some money, and I've always had a small room in all of my different aparments and homes, so it just didn't seem practical. And, I'm a good sleeper. It' nearly impossible for me to get up in the morning out of my tiny, not so comfy bed. If I had a good one I'd NEVER get out of it, and then I'd loose my job and have to face all kinds of dire consequences.

Then Melody offered me their bed for free, and I was so excited. Maybe a queen size has been my heart's secret desire all of this time? That must be because it was happy. Barry brought it all over last Friday and set it up for me. Big wood frame, box spring, and a giant pillow-top mattress. I mean giant. He warned me that the bed was pretty big, and suggested that we just put the box spring and mattress on the floor, but I wanted the nice frame, so he put it all together. When he finally threw the mattress on top I was stunned! It's huge! Honestly, this thing is so tall - more than waist high, almost chest high. I laughed every time I looked at it. What a ridiculously big bed! I feel like the princess and the pea.

I get into this bed by first stepping up on the wood frame, and then climbing in from there. I'm considering setting up a mini-tramp. There is some room on the floor, and then I could get a running start, hit the tramp, and do a tuck and roll into bed. Nice. Until then, I'll be climbing up from the frame. Once in, though, it is so, so comfortable. And I bought some Egyptian cotton sheets - heavenly. Absolute heaven. Everything you've heard about Egyptian cotton is true. And yes, I've been late for work all week. But loosing my job to stay in this bed just might be worth it.

And then....
That's really all I have to talk about today. It's crunch time at the store, and I'm working a lot of extra hours. I'll admit, it's exhausting. But people have been nice enough, and exhaustion is just part of the whole Christmas thing, isn't it? I hope you're all enjoying the fun of the season.

Countdown
I don't know that anyone is reading the countdown scriptures, and it's ok if you're not. I understand that there are one million things to do in December. I have honestly enjoyed doing it. It's been a good reminder every day of Christ, and I like thinking about all of the prophecies of His birth. Sometimes life can be tough, and sometimes it feels like that light at the end of the tunnel is way too far away. What I love about the prophecies of Christ'st birth is that the people had so much faith in them, and that faith pulled them through. And in the end every sign came, every one of God's promises was kept. And those who were there to see it rejoiced.

Here's today's countdown scripture:
3 Nephi 1:10-15, 20-21

10 Now it came to pass that when Nephi, the son of Nephi, saw this wickedness of his people, his heart was exceedingly sorrowful.

11 And it came to pass that he went out and bowed himself down upon the earth, and cried mightily to his God in behalf of his people, yea, those who were about to be destroyed because of their faith in the tradition of their fathers.

12 And it came to pass that he cried mightily unto the Lord all that day; and behold, the voice of the Lord came unto him, saying:

13 Lift up your head and be of good cheer; for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given, and on the morrow come I into the world, to show unto the world that I will fulfil all that which I have caused to be spoken by the mouth of my holy prophets.

14 Behold, I come unto my own, to fulfil all things which I have made known unto the children of men from the foundation of the world, and to do the will, both of the Father and of the Son—of the Father because of me, and of the Son because of my flesh. And behold, the time is at hand, and this night shall the sign be given.

15 And it came to pass that the words which came unto Nephi were fulfilled, according as they had been spoken; for behold, at the going down of the sun there was no darkness; and the people began to be astonished because there was no darkness when the night came.

20 And it had come to pass, yea, all things, every whit, according to the words of the prophets.

21 And it came to pass also that a new star did appear, according to the word.

Thanks, as always, for your constant care.
You are loved.

Angie's Christmas Countdown, December 17

2009-12-17T11:21:00.000-08:00

3 Nephi 1:4, 8
4 And it came to pass that in the commencement of the ninety and second year, behold, the prophecies of the prophets began to be fulfilled more fully; for there began to be greater signs and greater miracles wrought among the people.

8 But behold, they did watch steadfastly for that day and that night and that day which should be as one day as if there were no night, that they might know that their faith had not been vain.

Could I Interest You in a Book?

2009-12-16T10:46:00.000-08:00

I like all of the recommendations that go on this time of year. It’s fun to read about products that others have fallen in love with. I’d like to do a list of my own, but being a working girl, I don’t do much cooking or homemaking. I’m not a techno-geek, nor do I have a wide, unique range of musical tastes. But, there are two things I do know - books and make up. On these I can talk at length.

Makeup is such a personal thing. I can’t guarantee that you will love what I love. Every girl has to find her own regime. But I will say this – Estee Lauder's Idealist is the best thing I’ve ever done for my skin; Laura Mercier lipstick is worth every penny, and I would die without Clinique’s gentle eye makeup remover every night.

Books are just as personal as makeup, really. Still, I feel more confident making this list. Here are some that I’ve read over the last few years that have stuck with me.

1. “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – EVERYONE should read A Christmas Carol. I don’t care how many times you’ve seen the movie/musical/play, it has to be read. I couldn’t believe how much was in the book the first time I read it, or how powerful its message is. Dickens creates scenes, thoughts, feelings that can’t be translated into a movie. Read the book.

2. “Atonement” by Ian McEwan. This story isn’t nearly as happy as A Christmas Carol. It's sad, actually, but a great reading experience. It’s about a wealthy family in England in the 1930s, and the son of their housekeeper, Robbie. The family has a son and two daughters, Cecilia and Briony. Cecilia and Robbie are in love, and just beginning their relationship. Briony witnesses a crime, and accuses Robbie. The events of this one night change all three lives irrevocably. What I love about this story is how it sunk into my head and wouldn’t leave me alone. I thought about it for weeks. I still think about it sometimes. The writing is great, and the characters, especially Briony, are so deeply developed. A very good read.

3. “Gilead” by Marilynne Robinson. This is some of the most beautiful writing I’ve ever read. It’s about an old man who is ill and doesn’t expect to live much longer. He married later in life, and has a young son, and he’s writing out his life’s experiences, and those of his own parents and grandparents, for his son. He wants his son to know who he is. What struck me most about this book is all of the life lessons, written in simple sentences or paragraphs, that show a wisdom that only years and years of life could give. On almost every page I read something that I wanted to share with someone. It’s brilliant.

4. “These is my Words, the Diary of Sarah Agnes Prine”, by Nancy Turner. This book is more light-hearted than the other two. I really like books that are written in diary form. The first person narrative keeps the story moving. And I love pioneer, old west settlers stories. Sarah Prine and her family are settlers near Tucson, AZ. There’s all kinds of old west action going on. And, it’s a love story, one of the best I’ve read in years. Don’t let the title throw you. I saw this on the shelf at the store for years and didn’t pick it up because of the title, “These is”? That’s not right. But enough people told me that they loved it to make me finally give it a try, and I’m very glad I did (don’t worry, the story isn’t written with that kind of grammer).

5. “Jane Eyre” by Charlotte Bronte. There has to be at least one classic on this list, other than “A Christmas Carol”. I bet that you all have an idea of what Jane Eyre is about – a young girl is hired by a rich English gentleman to be a governess to his ward. The girl and the gentleman fall in love, but there are dark secrets in his past that threaten their happiness. It’s so romantic. Really. I love it. When Melody and I were in London we went to the British Library to see their collection of old documents, and the original hand-written manuscript of Jane Eyre was there. It was so exciting. One of the best days of my life. There are a lot of good movie versions; the best was done by the BBC just a few years ago. But read the book first. Always read the book first – words to live by.

That’s enough for now. I hope you see something here that catches your interest, and if you read it, I hope you like it. Some might make good gifts too!