Thursday, September 30, 2010
Clara: In the Post Office
by Linda Hasselstrom
I keep telling you, I'm not a feminist.
I grew up an only child on a ranch,
so I drove tractors, learned to ride.
When the truck wouldn't start, I went to town
for parts. The man behind the counter
told me I couldn't rebuild a carburetor.
I could: every carburetor on the place. That's
necessity, not feminism.
I learned to do the books
after my husband left me and the debts
and the children. I shoveled snow and pitched hay
when the hired man didn't come to work.
I learned how to pull a calf
when the vet was too busy. As I thought,
the cow did most of it herself; they've been
birthing alone for ten thousand years. Does
that make them feminists?
that I don't like men; I love them - when I can.
But I've stopped counting on them
to change my flats or open my doors.
That's not feminism; that's just good sense.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Friends, family and I are fully behind Jon and his cause, and if I had any money at all I'd totally be in Washington DC for the rally. Instead, I'll be there in spirit, and hoping that this rally blows the socks off of all others. Take a look.
|The Daily Show With Jon Stewart||Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c|
|Rally to Restore Sanity|
Friday, September 17, 2010
The Office, COB Style
Ah, my beloved coworkers.
We recently got an email on new internet/security policies, and it said that if you write a blog, don’t use anyone’s names unless you’ve asked them if it’s ok. Since I don’t really want to ask everyone how they feel about my blog, we will from now on be using character names.
Jack was on the phone with a stake president, and he needed to get the MTC president in Peru on the line for a conference call. He asked the main operator to help him do this by getting the MTC on the line and then ringing them through to him. The operator tried to call Jack back, but because he was already on a call with the SP, he didn’t answer the operator’s call. Our phones have call waiting, and it’s pretty easy to use, if you’re not over 75. The phone screen has caller id, and when a second call is ringing you hear the beep and can see on the screen whose calling. So I tried, many times, to tell Jack that when the operator called him he needed to answer it – just hit the “answer” button. It will put the other guy on hold. Well he couldn’t get it, and every time the operator called she eventually rang over to me because he wasn’t answering, and I couldn’t transfer her back again because you can’t transfer the operator. I don’t know why, you just can’t. So over and over again I stood in his door saying, “Just answer it! When she calls answer it!” On the third or fourth try the operator told me that she couldn’t get Peru anyway and that she was done. Goodbye.
I told Jack what she said. He still needed Peru, so he tried calling there himself but with no luck. So he came out of his office hollering if anyone had another phone number for them. He’s loud, and I’m pretty sure that he still had the SP on the line where he could hear the whole thing. I found a phone number and called it but got a recording in Spanish, so we put it on speakerphone and Jack listened to it (he speaks Spanish). The recording gave us their new number, but he’d tried that number and it wasn’t working. What to do now?
In the mean time, Earl, overhearing the ruckus, decided to come to the rescue. He made a few calls, and before we knew it the president in Peru was calling me! Hallelujah!
Act 1, Scene 2: “Hello, this is President W in Peru. Earl was calling me, and I’m just calling him back.”
Angie, “Jack needs to talk with you. I’ll let him know you’re on the line.”
Angie, knowing that getting this transfer through to Jack when he’s already on a call is going to be difficult (having learned from the operator debacle), goes to Jack’s door and says, “I have President W on my line. When I call you, answer it. You need to answer it.”
President W, “Ok, I will.”
Angie, “Oh president no, I’m sorry, I was talking to Jack.”
President W, “Oh, ok.”
Jack looks confused, and Angie knows that there is little hope of pulling this off. Change of battle stations.
Angie, “Sherry, will you go to my desk and transfer this call to Jack. I’ll stay in his office to answer it.”
Sherry does this. When the call comes through to Jack, the caller id lights up, and Jack, still not sure of what’s going on, asks the SP to hold. Angie hits the “answer” button. She then, with speed and agility, hits a few more buttons that connect everyone on one call. Success! High fives and wiping of sweaty brows all around. Done, and with only two outside people having to overhear how hard it is for COB workers to answer the phone.
Today is Sally's birthday, and I didn’t notice it on my calendar and didn’t put anything together for her. When I realized it, I got that rush of heat to the face that you get when you know that you’ve done something terrible, how stupid to forget her birthday. I went to her desk and apologized over and over, and she was very nice about it. She said that at her age you’d rather people forget your birthday. People say that, but do they really mean it? I don’t think so. Anyway, we made a plan to eat chocolate cake next week.
I wrote an email to Melody (we write to each other throughout the work day) and told her about my mistake, and then mentioned that there is a lot of pressure to celebrate things in the office. She agreed, too much pressure. A few minutes later someone from the second floor was here to talk to someone, and he mentioned that there was cake downstairs to celebrate the 10th anniversary of someone’s liver transplant (I’m not making that up). Really?! I can’t remember Sally's birthday, but they think to throw a party for the anniversary of a liver transplant? All I could do was laugh, and honestly it’s going to be funny for a long time, shake my head in disbelief funny.
One Thing Right
Remember last spring when I said that I was going to be more of a homemaker and cook and decorate? I didn’t do it. Not any of it. All summer long I came home from work to my quiet apartment, sat on the couch with some KFC and watched television. Apparently, when I said that I wanted to do some stuff around the house, what I meant was that I really didn’t. But, when Melissa got back from Connecticut, we made a plan to each pick a day to make dinner. It’s so much easier to cook when you’re doing it for someone else, and how nice when someone else is cooking for you! We started this week. On Wednesday she made some good chicken tacos, and yesterday I make lasagna, something I’ve made many times before. I thought I’d better start with something I knew, and it turned out well, if I do say so myself. So now I’m starting to plan out what to make next week and the next. This is going to be a good little tradition for us, and I’m happy about it.
That’s it. Thanks, as always, for being a bright and shiny light in my life.
You are loved.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Hello all. I’ve been thinking all week that I need to post something because it’s been some time, but what to write? I don’t know. There simply isn’t much going on right now. So maybe just some random thoughts? Ok.
55 degrees is the perfect temperature for a good walk.
Try as I do to make good salsa, it’s never like Marla’s.
Marla should make sure that I have salsa available to me at all times.
There’s no fry sauce in the states of Minnesota or North Dakota.
I’ve wondered if I could bottle fry sauce and start a trend there, and make a load of cash.
Its pay day today, and for one glorious minute I felt like I had some money.
I kind of wish that everyone was British. They seem so smart.
VH1 has been running a program called “The 100 Greatest Artists of All Time” that Melissa and I have been greatly enjoying.
I really love that Van Halen and Def Leppard were listed. I was so in to them in high school.
We were rockers at my high school.
Aaron and Barry once did a recording of Ozzy Osborne’s song “Crazy Train” with some friends, and it was shockingly similar to the real thing.
I’d pay money to have a copy of that now.
I’m troubled by all of the anti-Muslim sentiment going around the country.
The mosque in New York should be built and everyone should be nice about it.
The Koran burner in Florida should be slapped.
Sierra did a good blog post on the matter.
I’m troubled by all of the hostility surrounding a lot of issues.
At the same time, I think most controversies wouldn’t be controversies if the news didn’t spotlight them.
I watched Wipeout yesterday – still awesome.
I think I’ve finally found a happy balance between still hoping for some of the things I’m missing (like a handsome man) but not obsessing over them. I’m just living my life. It’s a huge relief.
It sounds cliché, but there is beauty in letting go.
That’s harder to do than one might expect.
I cannot believe that the holidays are looming around the corner.
At the same time, I sure love fall.
Fried shrimp is good.
Fax machines blow my mind.
Really, how is it possible that you can put a piece of paper through a machine and an exact copy of that paper shows up on a machine in Japan? That just shouldn’t work.
I highly recommend seeing “Inception”.
I only kind of recommend “The Switch”.
I also highly recommend doing yoga, if you feel so inclined.
But really, go see my sister and ask her for some salsa.
You are loved.