Monday, November 7, 2011

The End of the World as I Know It

I’ve come to a decision that has me a bit shaken. It will change life as I know it. I’m going to lay off the Diet Coke for a while. I know! I can hear the sharp intake of breathe, your cry of shock, and you haven’t even read this yet.

Diet Coke is an enormous part of who I am, of my being, my essence. It’s been my constant friend for more than 20 years. After years and years of denial, I’ve finally come to realize that this is a toxic relationship, addictive, and is doing me more harm than good. I was telling Marla this just this morning, and suggested that she should be my sponsor during addiction recovery, the person I call when I’m about to break, and she said that she’ll do this with me – no Diet Coke (or sodas) until the end of the year.

I feel pretty good about this decision, but I realize that after 20 years on the bottle, I don’t know who I am without it. What kind of Angie will I be after the caffeine, aspartame, caramel color, phosphoric acid and potassium benzoate are gone? I’m thinking that for the first few days I’ll have a screaming headache and be madder ‘n hell. Maybe I should go into hiding somewhere during detox for everyone’s benefit? But then, after that, who knows? I might not even remember you people. Heck, you might not be real. It could be that I have spent the last decades in a NutraSweet induced psychosis and completely delusional. You are all in my head, imaginary friends, just like in that movie “A Beautiful Mind”.

I hope Marla’s real. She has to be my sponsor. But, I think she must be because I do have memories of her, and some pictures, from back before Diet Coke came along. We’re okay there.

So, I guess this could be goodbye to the Angie you’ve known so long. If the lack of caffeine doesn’t put me permanently to sleep, then I’ll update the blog, and if you really do exist, please give me a sign. Thanks.


Tiffany said...

Good luck and know that I believe in you. And that I couldn't adore you more.

Melissa said...

I will help. You are not allowed to drink my diet coke anymore :) Also just a hint there is a vitamin water zero with caffeine that might help the withdrawal process.

Nicole said...

You can do it! If you think cold turkey might drive you back to the bottle, Brian and I have been doing a soda day once a week. He's lost weight, I don't feel so puffy anymore... I also like knowing that if I'm having a REALLY bad day, I can make it Soda Day and everything is alright again. Good luck!

Sierra said...

Because I closely associate Diet Coke with hom, when I was homesick last semester I would go crazy with the Diet Coke. Once I stopped, I have THE WORST HEADACHE EVER. For a couple of days. WebMD said I was having an aneurism and that was the only option haha. Water and medicine and hiding. You'll make it through :)

Kelli said...

You crack me up! I don't know how I missed this post. Good for you for trying this. I happen to know that if you really want this nothing will stop you. You never fail to amaze!