Dear Office Staff,
Today I am wearing a burgundy red, turtle-neck sweater. It’s a favorite. I believe that it is only one year old, so I was shocked and dismayed to find holes in both armpits. Actually, I didn’t find the hole, Ed did, which only caused further embarrassment. I have used safety pins to close the holes. I believe that this will take care of the problem for the rest of the work day, and until I am able to have the sweater mended. My mother will help me with the actual mending.
My apologies for the armpit flashes. Please know that I will make greater efforts in the future to ensure that this does not happen again. A close family member feels that I should take some personal time to recover emotionally, and to go shopping for a new sweater. This may be necessary, especially if my mother is not able to sew up these holes.
I can only apologize again.